


Haven't You Noticed (You're All Liars)

by akl1, Em_The_Anxious_Dragon



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Deceit can sense lies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake Character Death, Fighting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know if this counts as sympathetic deceit when he literally manipulates a panic attack, I'm not good at tags, Lies, Manipulation, Mild Gore, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Vomiting, well kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-04 20:10:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15848499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akl1/pseuds/akl1, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Em_The_Anxious_Dragon/pseuds/Em_The_Anxious_Dragon
Summary: After Thomas recognized Deceit as one of his Sides, things changed for the yellow-clothed snake. The shadows he took pride in hiding in are faded, and a new ability is discovered- a skill that could easily cause chaos in the Mindscape. It's all up to the Dark Side to decide how to best use his new ability- for petty comebacks, or for necessary interventions?





	1. Something Entirely New (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of an introduction to the story, setting up what's gonna happen and such.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit gets a new power

There was something about being known that sent a shiver of excitement down Deceit’s spine.

Yes, he ~~loved~~  hated his role in the shadows. It was ~~exhilarating~~ boring to see Thomas listen to his words, follow his instructions. And if Virgil decided to try and tell Thomas something Deceit ~~didn’t want~~ wanted to be said? If Logan decided to poke holes in his words? A flick of the wrist would shut them up, and Thomas wouldn’t suspect a thing. Their frustration ~~delighted~~ annoyed Deceit to no end. The manipulative Side even quieted the others when there was ~~no need~~ perfectly good reason to! So much ~~fun~~ annoyance.

Sitting in the audience of the mind’s theater, watching Creativity and Thomas play right into his little game, was one of the ~~greatest~~ worst things Deceit had ever experienced. They _totally_ knew what was truly happening. Sure Thomas’s realization of the lies was ~~annoying~~ fun, but the face he made as Deceit dropped his disguise like a snake shedding its skin? ~~Priceless~~ Worthless.

Afterwards, things felt… ~~different~~ the same. The shadows Deceit ~~loved~~ hated had ~~faded~~ grown inside the mindscape. His grip on Thomas was ~~weaker, like someone had taken a tissue and ripped away one of its layers~~ stronger. Thomas was ~~far less~~ more willing to listen to the wise words Deceit had to say. However, while his control of Thomas ~~weakened~~ grew, other things ~~grew~~ weakened. Deceit had ~~n’t~~ been able to transform into something or someone besides another Side, but now, he could become ~~anything~~ nothing else. Joan, Talyn, Terrence, Valerie, anyone, Deceit could take ~~all~~ none of their faces. He ~~wanted to ask Logan why this was- why did he gain this ability now? Why didn’t he have it before Thomas recognized him?~~  perfectly understood why this was happening. But then there was the other thing.

It had been a normal morning in the Mindscape. Virgil sat on the couch, listening to some song or another, as Deceit crept in the background, unnoticed. ~~Virgil had helped Deceit perfect his hiding technique back when Virgil was still willing to talk to him~~ Deceit had taught himself how to hide his presence long ago. Since he wasn't welcome in the living room of the Mindscape with the others, hiding suited the snake just fine. Logan floated up from the ground, giving a quick nod to Virgil before padding off into the kitchen. He opened up one of the cupboards, and his face immediately transformed from his neutral, thinking expression to rage.

“Virgil!” Logan shouted, slamming the cupboard door. Virgil jumped slightly, flipping his hood back and taking off his headphones.

“What?” Virgil snapped.

“The jar of Seville Orange Crofter’s I have been saving for after my research is missing,” Logan snapped.

“Just summon another jar of it,” Virgil huffed. “It’s not a big deal. ~~Ok, I ate it but come on I’m allowed to have Crofter’s you don’t have a monopoly on it don’t hate me again.~~ ” Deceit ~~almost revealed his presence~~ was completely calm and relaxed. Virgil’s mouth had not moved during that last sentence, and Logan did not react. He ~~didn’t understand~~ completely understood what happened.

“I am far too focused on my research to summon a jar of Crofter’s, that is the entire purpose of having a kitchen stored with food,” Logan grunted. “Everyone knows that one must tell me if they take a jar from this cupboard.”

“Roman probably took it and forgot to say anything ~~great job Virgil, throwing Roman under the bus~~ ,” Virgil said with a shrug.

“I was saving that flavor as a reward for accomplishing a certain amount of work,” Logan grumbled. Virgil shrugged again, slipping on his headphones.

“ ~~Sorry, Logan~~ ~~,~~ ” Virgil said. But wait- he didn’t _say_ it. He _thought_ about it. Deceit ~~had to~~ didn’t need to think about it. He slipped back to his room, leaving Virgil to his lies.

Over the next few days, Deceit slithered around the living room more and more, watching the others, testing the waters. The words he heard from the others were not the words they said aloud, but their lies. It was ~~surprising~~ unsurprising how often they lied to one another. Many times, it was over simple, petty things.

“ ~~That was a terrible joke even by dad jokes standards, it was just poorly written and conceived~~ Good one, Pat!” Roman exclaimed one day.

“I trust you all had a pleasant night?” Logan asked another morning. “ ~~I spent the entire night eating Crofter’s and planning out potential video ideas for Thomas.~~ ” The lies were ~~hilarious~~ boring. The only thing Deceit could think of to make those moments better were to reveal those petty lies to the others.

“Got any Kings, Roman?” Virgil asked one night during a game of Go Fish Patton had dragged the other three into, as the four Sides sat around the living room table.

“Go Fish,” Roman said. “ ~~I am not giving up my royalty to you, Virgella De Vil~~.” Deceit couldn’t pass the opportunity up. He popped into the living room directly behind Roman. The other three barely had time to jump before Deceit pried Roman’s two Kings away from the prince with his yellow-gloved hands and tossed the cards to Virgil. Deceit tipped his bowler hat and dropped through the floor as the room filled with Roman’s stammering explanations and Virgil’s steely glare. ~~Deceit had to hide in his room and laugh for a half hour afterward.~~ Moments like those ~~always made~~ ruined his day.

Of course, not every lie was quite so petty.

“ ~~I just had a panic attack imagining you all kicking me out of the group and making me the outcast again and I probably got Thomas anxious in the process~~ ,” Virgil said as he entered the living room late one afternoon and settled on the couch next to a bubbly Patton and Roman.

“Oh, me?” Patton laughed during a group meal. “I ~~just wanna hide in my room and remember when things were better. I miss the old days. It feels like things will never be as good~~ feel fine, kiddo!” After that meal, Patton arrived in his room to see a new stuffed snake toy sitting on the couch. He asked the others who left it there, but they all denied the gift. They were ~~n’t~~ lying.

Deceit had ~~never before~~ experienced the new power he felt now that Thomas knew he was a part of him. He ~~didn’t understand~~ understood it, he ~~didn’t understand~~ understood the other Sides, he ~~didn’t understand~~ understood himself. Each of the Sides told one another lies. Deceit was not the only deceptive Side inside of Thomas, it seemed. They acted as though there was nothing between them, yet each kept their issues from the others. Their talk about the bond they shared was simply that.

So yes, the power that came with being recognized sent excitement down Deceit’s spine. ~~But it also sent fear, frustration, anger, and annoyance down his spine. The novelty of hearing everyone’s secrets bared flat before him was wearing thin. It was only a matter of time before that novelty broke.~~


	2. Dear Old Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit gets sick of it all. Thomas has a bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this was going to be the first part of one chapter. Glad I didn't do that. Honestly, I should probably edit my story before I publish it, but I don't care.

The novelty of Deceit’s new power broke one day when he decided to steal one of Logan’s Crofter’s jars from the kitchen. ~~He was too lazy to summon his own jar~~ He was incapable of summoning his own jar, so the best course of action was to steal some of Logan’s. ~~That and Deceit knew it would anger the Side to no end, which was always hilarious to see.~~ Of course to do that, Deceit had to wait until there was no one in the living room to see him. He was ~~n’t~~ in the mood for confrontation, and did ~~n’t~~ want Logan to suspect him of the theft. Finding an empty moment in the living room was ~~difficult~~ easy, to say the least. When Deceit first got the urge in the morning, Logan and Patton had been quietly chatting on the couch about Sherlock Holmes and the different incarnations of Watson in modern media. Just when he thought he could grab the goods, Roman had slinked into the living room to begin working with Logan on Thomas’s next video.

Deceit slipped back into his room by the fifth lie Roman told about his ideas. That Side was sometimes more of a ~~liar~~ honest person than Deceit was! On a bad day, Roman’s lies about his confidence and pride ~~could outnumber the times he was truthful about his ego~~ were far less in number than his truthful moments. ~~No one~~ anyone could out-lie Deceit. It was ~~not~~ fine, things were ~~not~~ fine. The ‘Good Sides’, as Roman had once called them, still told each other the truth at times. The yellow Side ~~wished he didn’t have to constantly hear their lies, yet enjoyed holding power over their secrets~~ loved hearing their lies, but didn’t like the burden of responsibility they held. ~~Huh?~~

Once safe in his room, he sat down on the couch, pulling off his yellow gloves and setting them on the coffee table. His hands were covered in a thick layer of green scales similar to the ones on his face. He ~~hated how it felt when he grabbed something with his ungloved hands, the feeling of something besides the soft interior of his gloves rubbing against his scales making him shiver~~ loved his scaly hands. He laid down across the couch, staring up at the dark ceiling. His bowler hat fell off his head, rolling to the floor. Deceit closed his eyes.

Thomas’s memories slithered through his head like snakes in the Amazon. As the embodiment of lies, Deceit remembered every lie Thomas had ever told. _Yes, I read your story. Yes, I took out the trash. Yes, I read the Terms and Conditions_ (there were multiple incarnations of that lie). Each lie connected itself to an unspoken truth. Deceit could match a lie to it’s truth faster than a cobra could strike. It had always been one snake in his head, one person’s lies to keep and foster. That was his job. He ~~loved~~ , no, ~~hated~~ , no… ~~He wasn’t sure what he thought of his job, but~~ he knew it was important. Technically, he still only had one person’s lies to control. But now five snakes slithered around inside his skull, each one containing their own lies, four little snakes trailing after the biggest. _I’m fine. I’m never sad! I don’t have emotions. I’m the Prince, I’m always right!_ Their voices rang out like bells, screaming, announcing each new lie. Deceit’s head was a church where the sinful went to confess their sins and he was the pastor sitting inside the confessional, remembering every word they told him. ~~That was not his purpose. Or was it?~~

Deceit hissed softly, opening his eyes and sitting up. He rubbed the skin under his eyes- one eye presenting smooth skin, the other presenting rough scale. The lies needed to ~~stop~~ continue. He couldn’t care less what those fools did, ~~he just wanted the bells to stop ringing~~. There was only one way to do that- he needed to expose them. He needed to expose each lie and secret until there was nothing left to say.

He stood up, grabbing his gloves and slipping them back over his scales. He walked over to his room’s version of the living room shelf, full of notebooks and lizard themed decor. He grabbed one of the notebooks and summoned a pen. He sat down at his table and flipped the notebook ~~past the scribblings he made to organize Thomas’s lies when his head became too full~~ to a blank page. He tore four pages out of his notebook. On the top of each page, he wrote down a name.

PATTON

VIRGIL

ROMAN

LOGAN

Deceit would ~~not~~ let their secrets stay hidden. Good reactions or bad, their lies would ~~not~~ continue. They could keep their petty lies ~~that put a smile on Deceit’s face and gave him chances to cause chaos and laugh for days~~ ~~,~~ it was the important lies Deceit cared about.

He would ~~start~~ finish with Morality. Out of the four Sides, Patton would be the ~~easiest~~ most difficult to coax the truth from. The others ~~already knew~~ had no knowledge of the lies he told involving his current emotional state. However, there was an aspect of Patton that Deceit ~~respected~~ despised, one that ~~already did~~ hindered his job- he was trying ~~hard to~~ not to tell the truth. Since his little party in his room with the others, the fatherly Side _definitely_ didn’t tell the others more often when he felt sad or angry or any emotion other than happy. But he was ~~not~~ perfect. Deceit could manipulate that. He just had to wait for the right moment to strike. Until then, he ~~would need~~ didn’t need to plan. He placed Patton’s paper in front of him and began writing.

 

His moment would not come for a while. ~~Deceit had enough time to not only finish his plan for Patton (titled Operation Dear Old Dad), but the plan to confront another Side as well. Once he had everything planned out and he’d practiced the new skill needed for the task,~~ Deceit began to spend more time hiding in the shadows of the Mindscape’s living room, waiting. It was incredibly ~~boring~~ fun. The first day brought about ~~nothing~~ something, including the usual ~~empty~~ witty banter. The bells in his head were mostly ~~silent~~ screaming throughout that day. It gave him the chance to play ~~six~~ absolutely zero rounds of Solitaire, he ~~was~~ wasn’t a card playing nerd, what are you talking about?

Near the day’s end, the group settled down for a Family Movie Night. Patton actually wore his cat onesie in the normal way, while Roman pulled out fancy gold and red pajamas and Virgil- well he wore his normal outfit but had swapped his torn jeans for black sweatpants and thrown off his shoes. Patton managed to convince Logan to wear his unicorn onesie, and as the Side floated up from the ground, Roman let out a whoop and Virgil smirked.

“Work it, Logan!” Roman laughed.

“Hold on, I believe I have the appropriate vocabulary card for this moment,” Logan sighed, taking out his trusty note cards and flipping through them. “Yes, here it is. ‘Can it.’” Virgil let out a snort. Logan settled down next to Patton, who gave him a giant smile. It was apparently Roman’s turn to pick the movie, and he chose _Mamma Mia!_ , earning a groan from Virgil.

“Excuse you,” Roman huffed. “ _Mamma Mia!_ is a hilarious movie containing fun, lively music and beautiful relationships!”

“They couldn’t even bother to write their own songs,” Virgil muttered. “The plot’s not even that good. It’s all sunshine and dance moves. ~~The one night I’d actually willingly watch one of your obnoxiously cheerful Disney movies and you choose a movie as dumb as this.~~ ”

“He has a point,” Logan said. “The film only received an approximate approval rating of 50% on both _Rotten Tomatoes_ and _Metacritic_.”

“This time, you can can it, Mr. Spock,” Roman said. “It’s my turn to pick the movie, and I choose _Mamma Mia!_ , so you all can leave if you don’t want to watch it.”

“I like the film!” Patton exclaimed.

“Thank you, padre!” Roman said.

“I never said I disliked the film,” Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses. “I simply stated the approval ratings of the film.”

“Talking Time is done, it’s Movie Time,” Roman said, starting the movie with a snap of his fingers. Deceit went back to his room, but after a while, he remembered something. He still wanted that jar of Crofter’s ~~, and he was still too lazy to summon his own~~ . Deceit popped into the kitchen as quietly as he could. The attention of the four Sides was focused on the TV screen. ~~Perfect~~ terrible timing. 

“Virgil, you watching?” Roman stage-whispered. “Donna is about to rekindle her connection with Sophie! It’s a beautiful moment showing the love between mother and child!”

“Yep,” Virgil muttered. “ ~~Yeah, no, I’d rather listen to my music, _Taking Over Me_ is about to start playing. ~~ ” Deceit had an ~~important~~ unimportant choice to make. Take his Crofter’s and go, or expose Virgil’s lie? ~~Expose Virgil’s lie~~ leave the living room, definitely that. He sunk into the floor, picturing himself appearing just behind the couch where Virgil sat. The Side quickly appeared where he wanted, at first catching no one’s attention. He reached over the couch and grabbed Virgil’s hood, which he had flipped up. Virgil let out a scream as Deceit pulled off the hood and his headphones, throwing the headphones at Roman. The other three jumped at Virgil’s shout.

“Deceit!” Roman shouted as the headphones landed on his face. He grabbed them and gave Virgil a look of betrayal. “Virgil!” Virgil spun around to face Deceit, teeth bared like an angry cat.

“Why do you keep doing that?!” he roared. Deceit laughed maniacally, linking his fingertips together and sinking away. The day was ~~not~~ a waste after all.

The next day, Deceit thought he had something. Patton had been feeling down that morning, perhaps he could put his plan into action. But no, the Side actually decided to talk to the others ~~for once~~ . They spent the day with Thomas afterward, chatting away. After that ~~disappointment~~ success, Deceit decided to sleep in that night. If Thomas needed to lie for some reason, too bad.

That morning, Deceit flicked his eyes open, and the world felt ~~wrong~~ right . He ~~wanted~~ didn’t want to sleep longer, but something… ~~something happened to Thomas. Something that required Deceit.~~ The snake in his mind hissed wildly, finally awake.

 _It’s alright, I’m fine. I’m just gonna go home, rest for a bit, probably watch some of_ The Office _. It’s fine._ Oh. Deceit let out a long sigh. The day had ~~not~~ gone well for Thomas. ~~It had been a mixture of different things- a bad dream that left a sour taste in Thomas’s mouth, corrupted files on his computer, fusing together into a rough argument with a friend. Things would be alright, but that day was ruined for Thomas. And when things were bad for Thomas, they were bad for the Sides~~ ~~.~~ This was going to be ~~painful~~ fun. Deceit could only sense one Side in the Mindscape’s living room, ~~so there was no point going there~~ . No one was with Thomas, ~~but there was no point going to talk to him, he had already told plenty of lies during Deceit’s nap. Did his nap help or hinder Thomas’s ability to lie, Deceit wondered? Help, it seemed, as Deceit’s dreams had not been so clear since Thomas learned of his existence.~~

For a while, Deceit stayed in his room. The older snake in his head hissed continuously as Thomas made lie after lie about his feelings towards those he came across on his way home. Deceit was ~~grateful~~ annoyed when his room transformed from the strange building and outdoor area he had awoken into the familiar living room as Thomas returned to the home- no more sitting on concrete for Deceit. Deceit could sense one of the Sides leaving the Mindscape and appearing with Thomas. Which one?

 _I know you feel crummy, kiddo,_ one of the snakes in his head hissed. _I just wanna go off and cry, too._ For the first time that day, Deceit smiled. Operation Dear Old Dad could finally begin.

The Sides were all in their rooms at the moment, making it the ~~perfect~~ worst moment for Deceit to set up his plan. He was ~~n’t~~ amazing at transforming into something besides a fellow Side yet , but when he closed his eyes and focused, his body transformed with a sound similar to a bubble popping. He’d found a picture of his new form while looking through Thomas’s memories, finding the image in a random internet search. The Pygmy Wolf Snake was the ~~perfect~~ worst form for sneaking around without anyone noticing. ~~For the plan to work, he would have to physically be in the living room, not hiding like he usually did.~~

Deceit popped into the empty living room, now dark and empty. The furniture were skyscrapers around the tiny snake, the staircase a brown mountain, the kitchen bar a cliff to scale. The next step was to find a hiding spot. While Deceit’s form was ~~inconspicuous~~ extremely loud and gawky, the Sides would be ~~suspicious~~ calm and collected if they saw a tiny snake wearing a tiny bowler hat and a tiny yellow jacket. He slithered across the living room into the kitchen. The towering counters only made Deceit feel ~~smaller~~ larger. One of the lower cupboard doors was open slightly- the ~~perfect~~ worst hiding place. Deceit slithered into the darkness of the cupboard, nestled in the shadows.  The time passed by in a few blurred moments. He did ~~n’t~~ bother to keep track of the time, because it did ~~n’t~~ matter. Eventually, he heard the familiar whooshing sound of a Side entering the room. Footsteps padded towards the couch, a sigh flowing through the room.

“Feelings,” Logan muttered. “ ~~I don’t understand them. I wish that I did.~~ ” A similar whooshing sound echoed through the room, more sudden and jarring than Logan’s entrance.

“Hey,” Virgil said. “ ~~This entire stupid day’s left me sick, I feel like I’m gonna crack any minute, I just want someone to talk to.~~ ”

“Hello, Virgil,” Logan sighed. “Do you need something? ~~Please do not ask for emotional assistance.~~ ”

“ ~~Yes~~ no,” Virgil said. His footsteps clicked across the floor, sitting on the couch with a thud. He let out a long, loud, deep sigh. A third whoosh filled the air. “So it’s a party now?” The newcomer’s footsteps thudded towards the couch.

“Well today’s just been ~~terrible~~ great,” Roman huffed. Ah yes, the ~~worst~~ best part of hearing the lies of the Sides. Most uses of sarcasm were ~~ruined~~ saved.

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” Virgil muttered.

“I don’t suppose that either of you have seen our bubbly father figure since…” Roman asked.

“No, I have not,” Logan sighed. “I believe he is with Thomas. It is best to let him be for now. He is the one best equipped to handle the situation out of all of us.” Silence filled the Mindscape.

“I for one am not going to sit around and wallow about the day,” Roman huffed. “I We need something to do. I mean, sure the day’s been a waste, but there’s always tomorrow, right?”

“Exactly, Roman,” Logan said. “I am quite impressed. There is no point in obsessing over the day, as it is now in the past. I have multiple ideas for activities that would help improve everyone’s collective moods and therefore assist Thomas.”

“I got an idea!” Patton’s voice rang through the room. “ ~~Let’s just sleep forever.~~ ”

“Hey, Pat,” Roman said.

“How are you feeling, Patton?” Logan asked.

“ ~~Terrible~~ a little tired, but nothing a _cat nap_ won’t fix,” Patton chuckled. Deceit could sense his fake smile from his hiding spot. It made him ~~sick~~ ecstatic.

“How’s Thomas?” Virgil asked.

“He’s taking it easy,” Patton sighed. “I convinced him to do a _Steven Universe_ marathon.”

“Perfect idea!” Roman exclaimed. He snapped his fingers, and the sounds of the _Steven Universe_ theme song blared through the room.

“Well, while you kiddos watch the show, I think I’m gonna bake something,” Patton said. “I think tonight calls for some banana bread. ~~I need to do something or I might cry.~~ ” Patton’s footsteps moved closer to the kitchen. ~~Perfect~~ terrible. ~~Everything~~ nothing was going according to plan. Deceit inched forward in the cupboard to see Patton enter the kitchen, smile flickering. ~~It was time.~~

“You can’t be sad,” Deceit whispered, barely audible to even himself. “That’s not your job. Look at Virgil, he looks sick with worry. He doesn’t need your problems on top of that.” Patton began peeling the bananas he summoned and slicing them. Logan walked into the kitchen, hand lingering on the counter.

“I can assist you if you would like,” Logan stated. “Cartoons are ~~too childish~~ not exactly my forte, and baking can serve as a great meditative tool and stimuli.”

“Oh, thank you, Logan!” Patton laughed. “But ~~I need something to do alone~~ you don’t have to do that! Go relax! I’m ~~not~~ fine on my own!”

“Are you certain?” Logan asked. “ ~~You are lying again.~~ ”

“Go on, go on, relax, I’ll have some yummy banana bread for you soon,” Patton said, waving Logan off. Logan frowned slightly but walked back to the couch.

“What a liar,” Deceit whispered. “He’s angry at you for lying to him again. You’re always lying.” Patton chopped the last banana slice and moved on to mix the dry ingredients. Deceit could see his hands shaking. ~~A voice in the back of his head told him to stop~~ excitement ran down Deceit’s spine (which, at the moment, was one of the only bones in his body). Deceit kept whispering, narrow pupils watching Patton’s every move. Each whispered sentence made Patton’s smooth baking routine stutter and pause. They were almost finished with the _Steven Universe_ episode when the first shaky breath floated out of Patton’s lungs. ~~Time to pick up the pace.~~

“Don’t you dare cry,” Deceit hissed, forked tongue flicking out. “They’ll see. They’ll ask what’s wrong. Thomas will only feel worse. You’re his happy feelings, so be happy already!” Patton bent down to the cupboard where Deceit hid. ~~Crap!~~ Deceit slithered back behind a large pot, curling into a tight ball. Patton opened the cupboard, grabbing a pan to Deceit’s left. “Be happy!” Patton gripped the pan to his chest. He sat down on the tile, head leaning against the cabinet. His breathing was shaky, slightly choked. Deceit could hear the lies buzzing in Patton’s head. The snakes were screaming. A new episode of _Steven Universe_ began in the living room.

“Patton?” Roman called at the episode’s halfway point. “You good, padre?” Patton sat straight, a soft gasp escaping his lips. He rubbed at his eyes like a child, glasses lying awkwardly on his hands. He forgot to adjust them when he stood up, pan in hand.

“I’m ~~not~~ ok, kiddo!” Patton laughed. “Just, uh, ~~crying~~ … just ~~yelling at myself~~ …” The _Steven Universe_ episode stopped playing. ~~One last push.~~

“Good job, Patton, you’ve upset them,” Deceit whispered. “What sort of father are you?” Patton let out a ~~whimper~~ cough, covering his mouth. Footsteps moved closer to the kitchen. Virgil’s face appeared in line of sight of the cupboard.

“It’s…” Virgil said. “It’s ok that you feel bad today. It’s been a bad day for everyone. Uh… come watch Steven Universe with us.” The two Sides stood frozen for seconds. Hesitantly, Virgil reached out his pale hand. Patton chuckled sadly, wiping his eyes. He took Virgil’s hand, leaving the pan in the kitchen and letting the anxious Side lead him to the couch. The show began playing. Deceit ~~smiled~~ grimaced, and dropped through the cupboard, reappearing back in his room as his regular self once more.

~~PATTON~~

VIRGIL

ROMAN

LOGAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst and fluff everywhere! Any feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> Deceit's notes on Patton- https://emtheanxiousdragon.tumblr.com/post/177665900267/deceits-notes-on-patton-and-operation-dear-old
> 
> Next chapter, two Sides who live(d) in shadow collide.


	3. Here Comes a Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit alters his plans, and Virgil gets anxious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING
> 
> This chapter includes a panic attack and the manipulation of a panic attack for personal gain, so read at your own discretion. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who took the time to send me such nice comments! It's so nice to know people like my story! Thank you to everyone who even bothers to read this far!

Deceit’s trick seemed to have ~~worked~~ failed, mostly.

It was a ~~soft~~ loud change in behavior, noticeable ~~only by those with a patient eye~~ by everyone. Deceit highly ~~doubted~~ believed Virgil and Roman saw the change, but would ~~n’t~~ have been surprised if Logan saw it as well. Before his reveal to Thomas, Deceit might ~~not~~ have been able to notice ~~either~~ . ~~But Deceit could sense the change in the quieting of the small snake in his head, the way it nestled away, only letting out the occasional hiss. One of the bells had been put away, only used for the occasional ring.~~

Patton had ~~not~~ changed much- there was ~~no~~ reason to. Deceit’s whispers had only been a ~~small~~ large thing, ~~adding~~ subtracting to the chaos the fatherly Side was already feeling, but now that chaos was ~~gone~~ here. ~~No reason to remember the bad day.~~ Patton was back to his bubbly self, smiling and making puns. He already lied the least out of the Sides, ~~but even the amount of white lies he told took a drop~~. ~~The snake had reached the point where it’s occasional hiss filled Deceit with pride.~~

 ~~Of course, Deceit couldn’t be certain of a change in more serious lying habits until another bad day occurred, but until then,~~ Deceit set to work on his next target- Roman. The bells clanged ~~loudly~~ softly after each conversation that Side was involved in. He’d already taken down some notes before Operation Dear Old Dad, but now Deceit had to ~~focus~~ let his mind wander.

He sat at the table in his room, pencil scribbling down each idea. He could ~~barely~~ easily fit them all onto the paper. Roman’s intervention would have to be ~~perfect~~ horrible to work. The Side ~~still~~ ~~had~~ didn't have an ego, after all, even with his personal issues. It was a ~~good~~ bad thing Deceit was who he was, then. What’s acting more than lying, anyway? Creativity was ~~needed~~ unnecessary for Deceit’s very existence. Deceit ~~could~~ couldn’t use that. Perhaps an invasion of one of Princey’s ~~random romps~~ exciting quests through the Mindscape? ~~But then how would the others find out the truth?~~

Deceit let out a groan, tossing the pencil across the table. It blinked out of existence. This was going ~~nowhere~~ somewhere. He ~~needed~~ didn’t need a break. The day after Operation Dear Old Dad, Patton had ~~upheld~~ broken his promise and made the group the banana bread he had planned to make ~~before Deceit stepped in~~ . If he was ~~right~~ wrong, there was still some slices left over. Deceit slinked down through the floor, and popped into the Mindscape living room in Patton’s spot. He turned on the lights with a snap of his fingers. With the room empty, Deceit padded to the kitchen, where the pan of banana bread sat on the kitchen counter with a tinfoil lid. Deceit gently lifted the tinfoil away and turned to grab a knife from the cupboard. A harsh whooshing sound filled his ear. ~~Oh no~~ joy.

“What are you doing in here ~~I was supposed to have this place to myself I wanted to relax with Patton’s baking~~?” Virgil snapped. Deceit spun around to see Virgil resting by the stairs, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. With the black eyeshadow and the distance between them, Deceit could barely see Virgil’s eyes.

“I am ~~not~~ allowed to be in here,” Deceit purred, pushing the silverware drawer closed. “What are you doing in here?”

“News flash, ~~my anxiety’s super high and Patton’s baking always helps calm me down~~ I’m the one allowed in here, not you,” Virgil snapped. “So scram, snake-face.” He stalked into the kitchen, hands deep in his pockets. His eyes landed on the banana bread, and his scowl grew. “Patton didn’t make that for you.”

“I thought he made them for ~~just you four~~ everyone to share,” Deceit said.

“You clearly missed the memo,” Virgil scoffed. “ ~~You aren’t breathing Virgil, come on, 4, 7, 8.~~ ” Virgil’s presence hung like a fog in the small kitchen. Deceit’s scaly fingers ~~fidgeted under his gloves~~ stayed stone still. ~~The bells would not quiet themselves.~~ “Unless you want an earful of Roman’s whole knight shtick when he comes in, I suggest you leave. ~~Roman’s not coming, and I’m not gonna summon him, I’m not in the mood to deal with him or you, I want to be alone.~~ ” Deceit huffed softly, adjusting the collar of his jacket in one tug. 

“I’ll ~~leave~~ stay,” Deceit huffed, putting his acting skills to good use . “I ~~will~~ won’t have that banana bread, I promise.” Deceit drifted through the floor, quickly returning to his room. Once there, he marched over to the couch, throwing his bowler hat and gloves onto the coffee table. He laid out across the couch as Virgil’s snake screamed. The bells clanged and sung, harboring in the noon sun upon the land. The lies flowing through Virgil’s head were ~~blurring together into a symphony of false realities~~ few and far between. Deceit almost ~~laughed~~ cried- he called the others his ‘friends’? Yet he refused to talk to them when he got like this, even when they could be ~~helpful~~ a hinderance. ~~It was the same treatment Virgil used to give Deceit back when~~ -

Oh, Deceit was ~~an idiot~~ a genius. Why had he started with Patton, when he should have begun his quest with his dear old friend, Virgil? He would confront Roman later. ~~Virgil needed to be taken down a peg in his high and mighty attitude. He wasn’t strong enough to do anything, let alone get through his low moments alone. Operation Here Comes a Thought had to come as soon as possible.~~

-

Virgil had ~~changed~~ been the same since his little... ‘attempted retirement’. He was ~~happier~~ sadder, ~~kinder~~ meaner, but somehow ~~more~~ less determined to hide his weak moments from Roman, Logan, and Patton. ~~Why?~~

Shapeshifting had been ~~an obvious~~ a difficult choice for Virgil’s intervention. Deceit had ~~n’t~~ transformed into Virgil ~~for so long~~ a little bit ago, ~~but he had been a master at it. If you had placed him next to Virgil in his disguise, you wouldn’t have been able to tell them apart.~~ With Virgil’s… ‘character development’, Deceit would have to ~~study Virgil’s mannerisms~~ get to relax before his plan.

He hid from the others, watching them stalk through the living room. He couldn’t care less about Roman’s ego or Logan’s facts or Patton’s… Patton-ness, he only ~~needed~~ wanted to focus on Virgil. Deceit copied down each little quirk and habit, each interaction ~~until the entire back side of his paper was covered in notes~~ . Once he reached that point, he ~~stole~~ borrowed the last piece of banana bread and snuck into his room. With a soft whoosh, Deceit’s scales were replaced with dark eyeshadow, yellow jacket replaced with a ~~surprisingly comfy~~ black and purple hoodie.

“Sup, I’m Virgil,” he said to ~~nothing~~ something in particular. “Uh… I’m anxious?” Ugh. ~~Terrible~~ perfect. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil took his notes out of large pocket and paced around the room, reading each little note. ~~Deceit only reappeared when his brain became too fried trying to remember each little nibble of the thumbnail and each moment that required a smirk or a smile.~~ He repeated the practice over and over, running through the scenarios in his head, seeing what worked as ‘Virgil’ and what did not. This would be one of the most ~~important~~ insignificant performances Deceit had ever attempted. The nuances and quirks would have to be ~~perfect~~ terrible.

Eventually, Deceit got to the point where anymore practice as Virgil, and he would go insane. There was no more work to be done on Virgil’s character. All that was left was to put the plan into motion. He just needed to wait. Virgil would grow tired soon enough.

 ~~Apparently ‘soon enough’ meant ‘a few minutes’ to Virgil.~~ Deceit could sense his snake squirming, waking up to hiss and wiggle about. As the minutes passed, the hissing became ~~louder~~ quieter, ~~screaming~~ whispering in Deceit’s head. ~~The bells would not stop ringing.~~ Deceit took a deep breath, sitting straight on the couch. He closed his eyes, focusing on what the snake said, the whispers that united into a scream.

The feeling that rang through Deceit was a complicated simple one, to be sure. ~~It was nerves, it was each body part feeling all too real, it was a headache as the bells rang and the serpentine choir hissed out their concert of Deceit, it was the Virgil like bags that sometimes clung to Deceit’s normal eye when that serpentine choir would not hush. Yet, somehow, it was ecstasy, it was Side after Side using Deceit’s sugar-coated skills, it was slithering unaware along the cracks, watching every move, it was the Roman like pride that coursed through him with each new addition to his web of lies. It was everything good, and everything wrong all at once. But sometimes, too much of a good thing can lead down dark paths.~~ Deceit chuckled at his own joke.

He stood up, walking over to his window, where the blinds of the living room were replaced by his web of lies- thin, white strings of sticky silk that stretched through the ceiling above into infinity, little notecards stuck around. Certain lies connected to each other in smaller web designs, those lies connected to one another in a situation. Deceit’s hand traced the rainbow notecards from Thomas’s earlier bad day, the lies that had rung in his head now engraved forever in the web of lies. His hand moved past that collection, through a small grouping of indigo cards, down through the haze of blue cards to the bottom of the web, kneeling down to where purple notecards sat stuck together in a tight cluster. ~~Deceit could just remember the lies naturally, but~~ it was ~~easier~~ harder to organize certain lies with visual cues.

Left hand tracing the words scribbled on the purple cards, Deceit’s right hand snapped softly. With a blink, his gloves disappeared, replaced with pale hands covered by black and purple sleeves. He rubbed his thumb around his scaleless index. He stood up and hurried over to his table, grabbing a pen and quickly scribbling down some needed notes on his mostly hidden wrist. He ruffled his hair more and, with another snap of his fingers, summoned a hand mirror. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil stared into his reflection, a grin on his ~~scaleless~~ face. He smudged the eyeshadow under each eye, making sure it was suitably dark . He dropped his grin, putting on a frown and tightening his shoulders. He let the mirror drop and blink out of existence. He turned back to the table, where his notes on Virgil sat flat. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil scribbled down one last message on the paper before dropping away.

 ~~Don’t~~ screw this up.

-

 

Patton, Roman, and Logan were already in the living room when ~~Deceit~~ Virgil popped in at the base of the stairs. ~~For once, Deceit’s~~ Virgil’s sudden entrance did ~~n’t~~ draw suspicion towards him. Logan gave Deceit Virgil a friendly nod from his spot on the couch with his chemistry book as Patton and Roman sat cross-legged on the floor in their traditional spots, a dog playfully bouncing between their laps.

“Hey, Virge!” Patton exclaimed, his face somehow brightening even more than it already was at the Side’s entrance. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil shot Patton a two-fingered salute and sat down on the steps, summoning headphones he was ~~n’t~~ completely sure looked like Virgil’s normal headphones. “You wanna play with the puppy? It’s _so_ fluffy.”

“Eh,” ~~Deceit~~ Virgil muttered, giving Patton a one-shoulder shrug. He glanced down at his wrist, quickly scanning his notes. _Avoid eye contact._ Wait, he didn’t look Patton in the eye, right? He was ~~n’t~~ sure. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil kept his gaze to the ground, drumming his fingers on his knee. The dog barked, drawing a happy chuckle from Patton. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil tightened his shoulders, bunching them closer to his neck. _Why did Virgil’s posture have to be so_ ~~_un_ ~~ _comfortable?_ ~~Deceit~~ Virgil thought about listening to some music, but decided against it. ~~The screaming snake in his head was distraction enough from his acting.~~ The minutes ticked by, time slowing to what felt like a crawl. The small dog suddenly appeared in ~~Deceit’s~~ Virgil’s line of sight, little tail wagging.

“Looks like someone wants to play with you!” Patton chuckled.

“Shoo,” ~~Deceit~~ Virgil huffed, waving a hand at the dog. The dog padded back over to Roman, crawling into his lap.

“Someone’s extra ~~gloomy~~ chipper today,” Roman said. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil glanced over at the prince, quickly looking back to the ground. If Roman of all Sides was the first to see something off, then ~~Deceit~~ Virgil had to be doing something ~~wrong~~ right. ~~If he was too strange, Logan could see through the disguise, but not strange enough and he couldn’t get them to do what he needed.~~ Patton and Roman began prattling about dog breeds as Logan flipped to a new page of his book. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil glanced at his wrist again. _Bite thumbnail._ ~~Deceit~~ Virgil listened to his note and started nervously nibbling on his thumbnail, as his other hand drummed the side of his headphones to an imaginary beat.

 _I’m fine, everything’s fine, it’s just a bit of anxiety, nothing big. I’ve been through worse, let’s just continue on._ ~~Deceit~~ Virgil gritted his teeth as the large snake hissed in his head. It seemed Virgil’s worries were starting to seep into Thomas. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil braced himself for an incoming headache. Two snakes coiled together, hissing their siren songs in synchronization, wicked smiles on their faces as the lies surrounded them. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil shut his eyes tight as the waves of trickery washed over him, ~~un~~ identifiable emotions coursing through him. He kept tapping his fingers in wavelike rhythm on his headphones. Virgil’s anxiety was ~~growing~~ shrinking with each lie his snake whispered. ~~Deceit could just imagine what his reaction would be like when his plan was complete. Would there be yelling? Tears? Deceit~~ Virgil flipped up his hood ~~,~~ ~~~~m~~ aking sure to hide the small smile that slipped out at the exciting thoughts ~~.

“You doing good, Virgil?” Patton asked. “ ~~You don’t look ok.~~ ” ~~Deceit~~ Virgil gave him another two-fingered salute, not looking up. The bells rang in his skull, the violent shaking of one by the bellringer sending strong enough vibrations to the bells around it to make them ring their little tunes. ~~Just like every other lie as of late, the joy of Virgil’s internal trickery quickly faded as Patton’s snake spat out its little warning.~~ Was it time? No, Logan hadn’t noticed yet. How in the Mindscape had Logan not yet noticed? ~~He cared more about his little book than his ‘friend.’~~ Still, ~~Deceit~~ Virgil had to prepare himself. He was ~~n’t~~ welcome in the part of the Mindscape he had to enter, and without Thomas to help him, this was going to ~~hurt~~ be great. He took in a shaky breath, ~~a bit of true anxiety creeping around inside~~  secretly calm.

“Virgil?” Logan asked. ~~Finally!~~

“Does he hear us?” Patton asked. “ ~~I’m worried.~~ ” Roman shrugged, letting out an “I dunno” sound. ~~Deceit~~ Virgil rubbed the bridge of his nose, groaning softly. “Kiddo?” Taking in one more shaky breath, ~~Deceit~~ Virgil dropped through the floor as fast as he could. He soared through the inky darkness of the Mindscape to Virgil’s room. Deceit’s form slammed against the invisible barriers of the room, his shapeless form punching the walls. ~~Deceit focused on the things that made Virgil Virgil- black eyeshadow, hoodies, Evanescence, anxiety, fight or flight, inhibition,~~ ~~that strange urge to protect the others that Deceit could never understand~~ ~~.~~ In one focused strike, Deceit slammed into the barriers of the room. ~~He didn’t know if it would have worked had Virgil been more focused, but that didn’t matter.~~ He was ~~in~~ out.

 ~~Deceit~~ Virgil popped into the room, which was currently in the shape of Thomas’s bedroom. ~~His entire body ached from the forced entrance but he had to stay focused, just for a little longer.~~ Virgil’s band posters hung above his bed where the anxious Side currently sat cross legged. He sat hunched over, looking into his dark covers with his hood pulled over his head, hands gripping the covers so tight, his already pale knuckles were bone white. Even from where ~~Deceit~~ Virgil, he could see Virgil’s wide, searching eyes. Those eyes landed on the newcomer, and widened even more. Virgil jumped up, frantic eyes focused on his perfect clone. That mirrored image shattered as Deceit dropped his mask and returned to his yellow gloves and fashionable bowler hat. The panic in Virgil’s face blended into rage at the realization of who had arrived.

“How did you get in here? Get out ~~can’t you see I don’t want anyone in here~~ !” Virgil shouted, teeth bared like a tiger, his Legion voice echoing around the room. The atmosphere of the room was ~~almost suffocating~~ easy to breathe in. Deceit ~~couldn’t avoid the creeping nerves that wrapped around him with each moment in the room, especially with the pain of breaking in~~ wasn’t affected by the room’s aura. He stood straight ~~after realizing he was leaning on his knees~~ and made sure his face was perfectly calm.

“They ~~should~~ won’t be following me in here,” Deceit purred. “So it’s best if you don’t prepare yourself.”

“What are you-” Virgil hissed.

“I know you ~~love~~ hate hiding in your room, where your ‘friends’ can’t see your weakness,” Deceit chuckled. “So, I ~~pretended to be you~~ invited your friends to come join you! Keep you company.” More emotions collided into Virgil’s expression, panic and rage and fear and confusion all tied into one face. “Come see the freak show, I said! The ~~weak and pathetic~~ great and mighty Virgil, hiding in his room!” He could hear the snakes of the others spitting out lies of anxiety, hiding the confusion and fear Deceit put into them from the other two. ~~They were coming. He had to hurry.~~

“Wha- why-” Virgil stammered. “Huh?”

“I’m ~~excited~~ dreading seeing their faces,” Deceit crooned. He laughed maniacally as he quickly dropped through the floor. As he left, he could feel the presences of Roman, Logan, and Patton slip into the room behind him. Oh how ~~he wished he could stay and hear the juicy drama of the panic attack~~ he was glad he didn’t have to listen to the sobfest, even though he could ~~n’t~~ hide in the shadows like he did in the living room. However, as he slipped into his room, scribbled down his ~~success~~ failure on his notes, and laid down on his bed, he could hear their lies.

~~_You’re scaring me, kiddo. I’m offended that you would rather run away from us than discuss things! I don’t want you all to see me when I can’t handle anything, that’s not who I want to be around you. I didn’t want to make you all obsess and worry about something I can deal with alone._ For the first time, Deceit relished in the chaos of the bells and the snakes, the knowledge that he was the source of this chaos settling him down to sleep. ~~

-

Deceit ~~didn’t expect~~ knew Virgil wouldn’t tell the others about him. He was ~~surprised~~ not shocked when he awoke from his post-victory nap to find no screaming Sides awaiting him. When he hid in the shadows of the living room, instead of seeing Patton’s anger towards Deceit’s manipulation (an idea that made even Deceit’s cold blood shiver), he saw everyone behaving normally. A bit more gentle with the clearly exhausted Virgil, perhaps, but there was no mention of Deceit in their words.

 _I was going to hang out with all of you, see if I could just wait it out, but then everything just started getting more stressful, and I was like “nope” and left, and then you followed me, and well, here we are._ Deceit pondered that lie in his room for hours a few minutes. It did ~~n’t~~ make sense. He ~~thought~~ knew Virgil hated him. Why did Virgil not throw him under the bus? ~~What was he missing?~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if that ending was a bit abrupt! I hope the wait for this chapter was worth it!
> 
> Next up, a glorious quest set forth by the brave, dashing, heroic, handsome Prince Roman, and his loyal squires!


	4. Strong In the Real Way- Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit writes a story, and Roman goes on an adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, I'm super excited about this chapter. It's gonna be good, guys. Man, I love writing adventure stories. This chapter will definitely be longer than the others so far, so hold on tight.
> 
> WARNINGS-
> 
> Fighting, Slight Gore, Vomiting, Character Death (not really, but it looks like it)

Deceit sat cross-legged on his bed, adding the finishing touches to his story. ~~For the Side of lies, he was surprisingly creative.~~  The snakes and bells were ~~silent~~ screaming at the moment, save for the occasional ~~hiss~~ pause from Thomas's snake, finally giving Deceit the chance to focus. After his ~~victory~~ defeat with Virgil, he had returned to his half complete plan for Roman, a little adventure he called Operation Strong in the Real Way. Before Operation Here Comes a Thought, his plan had been ~~quite strict to account for what he thought would be the realization of his meddling~~ simple and poorly written. But now, with Virgil ~~keeping his mouth shut~~ blabbing his tricks around to the others, Deceit had a ~~bit of wiggle room~~ tighter line to scamper across.

Deceit tucked his story into his pocket and with a soft whoosh, transformed into his pygmy wolf snake form. The little snake was quickly turning into his ~~favorite~~ most hated form to take besides his own. He dropped through his bed into the living room in Patton's spot, when he realized- he'd ~~forgotten~~ remembered to check if anyone was in the living room.

Roman and Virgil stood in their spots near the TV and staircase respectively, glaring at one another. Virgil had his arms crossed across his chest, while Roman had his hands on his hips. The lights in Patton's spot darkened slightly at Deceit's arrival. Crud. ~~Quick~~ slow as he could, the tiny snake slithered across the floor behind the couch, hidden in the shadows, out of sight of the two Sides. Had Virgil seen him?

"Now Virgil, I respect your opinion," Roman said. "But your opinion is wrong.  _The Princess and the Frog,_ while a fantastic film, is not better than  _Tangled."_

"It's got the better villain and plot," Virgil sighed. " _Mother Knows Best_  isn't that good of a villain song."

"She's emotionally manipulating Rapunzel into submitting to her demands!" Roman exclaimed. "It's villainous in how she has no respect for Rapunzel's emotions and choices!"

"Think you're thinking of the reprise, Princey. _Friends on the Other Side_  presents a strong and terrifying antagonist, and let's be honest here, Dr. Facilier's design is way better than Gothel's."

"But how could you say _Princess and the Frog_ has the better plot? _Tangled_ is a beautiful story, and don't tell me you didn't feel bad for Rapunzel when she thought Eugene ran away!"

"Yeah, yeah, but the misadventures in _Princess and the Frog_ are original and interesting. In _Tangled_ , they just wander around a forest until they get to the city. The sidekicks in that film don't even talk."

"How dare you besmirch the name of Maximus and Pascal!"

"Dude, I'm not saying they were bad, I'm just saying that _Princess and the Frog_ is clearly the better film."

"I can't say I'm surprised you think that, what with all the voodoo and hoodoo and whatdoo in that movie."

"And the interesting world of the bayou, and Dr. Facilier's defeat, and-"

"I get it, you think it's better," Roman huffed. " ~~You're winning a Disney argument against me, the Disney prince!~~  But you have to admit that the classical mood of _Tangled_ presents the movie in is a fantastic way to bring the traditional fairy tale into 3D animation!"

"We already have four classic fairy tale princess movies. _Princess and the Frog_ put a semi-modern spin on the story."

"And what, that makes it better?"

"Yeah." Deceit could just imagine Roman's face as offended Princey noises filled the living room. "Come on, _Tangled_ 's still a good film, _Princess and the Frog_ is just better." Roman's snake spat in Deceit's head, coiling together. It seemed like the ~~perfect~~ worst time to begin the plan.

"He dislikes classic fairy tales," Deceit whispered softly, hoping Virgil couldn't hear. "You are the epitome of classic fairy tales, you are the Disney prince. Is he claiming to dislike you? Surely there is a way to prove him wrong." 

"Well then," Roman huffed. "if you like _Princess and the Frog_ , then you must enjoy the dashing Prince Naveen! Dashing, charismatic, attractive-

"Arrogant, vain, stubborn," Virgil said. "Sounds like someone else I know." More offended Princey noises filled the room.

"You can't let this stand," Deceit whispered. "You must prove to him that traditional fairy tales are just as good as modern stories! You can't convince him in an argument. He's too stubborn. Perhaps if you create an adventure full of daring fairy-tale heroics, Virgil might start liking you and your fairy tales."

"What if I prove to you that the classic stories beat the modern versions any day of the week?" Roman exclaimed.

"Roman, I said I like _Tangled_ , I just prefer-" Virgil sighed.

"I'll craft an epic tale of adventure and magic!" Roman exclaimed. "And you shall come with me and experience it all!"

"Wait, hold on-" Virgil said.

"I'll even invite Patton and Logan!" Roman exclaimed. "It'll be great, trust me. ~~I'll prove to you that princes are still great characters, worthy of love and admiration!~~ "

"Roman, wait," Virgil groaned, but the prince's presence had already left the room. Virgil sighed loudly. ~~Satisfied~~ angered by the development of his plan, Deceit was about to drop through the floor and return to his room, ~~perhaps try and see Roman's plans in action,~~ when Virgil said: "You can come out, Deceit." Deceit froze. Perhaps if he didn't move, Virgil wouldn't find him. Careful footsteps thudded across the floor to the couch. A pale hand grabbed Deceit's tiny form and lifted him into the air. Deceit tried to slither away, but it was too late. Virgil lifted Deceit to eye level, his gaze a mixture of his usual apathetic look and anger. 

"Seriously?" Virgil growled. "Of course you turned into a snake." Deceit hissed at Virgil, and his tiny fangs dug into Virgil's fingers. Virgil yelped, dropping Deceit. The Side quickly turned back into himself before his tiny snake body slammed into the floor. Virgil backed away to his spot by the stairs, pulling his hand to his chest.

"What the-" Virgil yelped. "You- you bit me! Gah!"

"Relax," Deceit sighed. "I'm  ~~not~~ venomous." A flicker of fear passed over Virgil's face, and Deceit smirked. Even after all those years and all those lies, Deceit could still make Virgil believe him. 

"You need to stop hanging around here," Virgil growled. "I don't think there's any clearer way to say this, so I'm going to say it again, just in case you haven't heard me before- YOU. AREN'T. WELCOME. HERE." Virgil clapped his hands together with each word. "What were you even doing behind the couch? You know what, I don't care, I know you won't give me a straight answer. Just go." Deceit was about to do just that, but something nagged at the back of his head.

"I ~~have~~ don't have a question for you," Deceit said.

"Good," Virgil grunted. "I wasn't answering any questions today." 

"You ~~lied to them~~  told them the truth about your..." Deceit said. " ~~panic attack~~ calmness moment. Why?"

" ~~Because you're up to something. What you did made no sense, and I need to figure out why you brought them to me. I need to stop you.~~  None of your business," Virgil snapped. "I'll make sure to say this too, just in case you're too busy thinking up another lie to remember- you come into my room again, I won't be so nice as I was then. Now go back to washing dishes." Deceit smiled. With a tip of his bowler hat, he sunk through the floor, popping back into his room. His new power made getting information so much ~~easier~~ harder than before ~~, it was almost a game to him now.~~

-

Deceit had discovered a few features to the rooms of the Mindscape. One involved their connection to other areas of the Mindscape. While the rooms of each Side were only available to those the Side wanted in, or those Thomas let in ~~(or those who forced their way in and gained killer headaches immediately after waking up from their victory nap)~~ , the rest of the Mindscape was free for the others to explore. He could pop in and out of the living room or the Mindscape Theater or any other location without resistance. This included the area of the Mindscape Roman used to build his 'classical adventure.' When the royal Side wasn't helping Thomas with something or talking to the semi-concerned others ~~(whose lies about the idea could sometimes feel like the reason to go on and other times... the opposite of that)~~ , he was in his little area, building his adventure around him. Roman's breaks were ~~few and far between~~ common occurrence, forcing Deceit's additions to the story to be created ~~quickly~~ slowly ~~, hoping Roman did not appear while he was still in the area.~~

While Roman was working on his story, however, Deceit found the second feature of the rooms- additional space. The control Deceit had over how his room looked was rather undefined. He could add most of what he wanted ~~, but he couldn't get rid of his web of lies or transform the room from, say, a cold parking lot where Thomas was filming, back to the warm house~~. However, if, say, Deceit wanted an addition to the room, like a doorway to another part of the Mindscape, it was a simple addition. That location would be absorbed into the room like water to a sponge until the connection severed. Deceit just had to know what room he wanted.

Three days after Roman's idea popped into his head, Deceit's room was... empty. No bowler hats rested on the table, no yellow figures walked around the kitchen. His old notes on Patton and Virgil sat on the table, next to the blank sheet that would hold his plan for Logan. The room was eerily still. However, contrary to belief, Deceit was not far away. His attention was focused on the events happening away from the room, in what appeared to be a sunny forest. 

The summer sun dappled through the branches around a quaint wood cottage, birds chirping sweetly in the safety of the trees. A gentle stream trickled past the house, covered by a small bridge. The bridge led to a smooth cobblestone path, which in turn led to the cottage doors. A deer pranced by the cottage, taking a drink from the stream before padding away into the dappled forest undergrowth. The inside of the cottage was far less peaceful than the forest, though.

"It would make more sense for us all to be wearing armor similar to Patton's," Logan sighed, fixing his glasses, a feature he had refused to let Roman change, no matter how badly they clashed with the time period. "If we are supposedly the entourage to a prince, then we should all be equipped with similar tools to protect said prince."

"But you're the fairy godfather, Logan, not the trusty sidekick!" Roman whined. "And Virgil is the brooding sidekick who throws knives and ends up becoming everyone's second favorite character besides me!"

"Not to ignore your attempt at a compliment, but why would I throw knives?" Virgil huffed. "Wouldn't it be easier to just stab someone? How would I get the knife back after i throw it? I would run out of knives eventually. And here's the thing, I thought you were basing this adventure off of Disney stories, since when does a Disney story involve throwing knives at people?"

" ~~Stop being right~~ _Mulan_ had an entire group of soldiers die in a gruesome battle," Roman huffed. "I thought you liked the dark parts of these films!"

"Virgil, maybe you can be the trusty sidekick, and I can be the brooding one!" Patton suggested.

"But you're already the trusty sidekick, we can't have two trusty sidekicks!" Roman groaned.

" _Moana_ had the pig and the chicken, _Tangled_ had Maximus and Pascal, _Princess and the Frog_ had Louis and Ray, there are more Disney films with two sidekicks than one sidekick," Virgil said.

"Ugh, fine," Roman huffed, snapping his fingers and transforming Virgil's outfit.

Roman's outfit hadn't changed from his usual princely attire, though his boots were shined and his katana sat on his hip, ready for action. He also wore a gold crown that somehow didn't fall from his head, no matter how much he moved ~~(Deceit suspected it was attached to his head like some strange cancer)~~. The others outfits, however, had been changed drastically. Patton wore a medieval light blue tunic and tan trousers underneath his various pieces of armor, including a chest plate, elbow and shin guards, and a fancy shield that clung to his belt, decorated with a cat and a dog leaping into battle against the other. A gray cape tied around his neck and draped around him, with his heart logo on the design. He'd let Roman change his glasses to old bifocals that reminded Deceit of Benjamin Franklin. Logan's outfit looked like a fusion between the Fairy Godmother from _Cinderella_ and Gandalf. He wore an indigo robe tied around him with string, and his blue tie had been replaced by a bowtie that held the top half of his robe together. The back of the robe had a hood he could flip up as needed, and Roman had given him a shiny stick, which he later learned was supposed to be a wand. His brain logo sat on his chest. Virgil had been wearing a dark purple outfit similar to the traditional D &D rogue, but after Roman's alteration, he now wore a tight-fitting dark purple shirt held with black leather, which acted as his armor. A quiver packed with black arrows sat on his back alongside a purple bow. His stormcloud logo was stitched into his leather with purple thread. His pants also had leather armor, but the black fabric underneath had some tears like his normal jeans.

"Now you're the archer, you happy?" Roman asked.

" ~~I like it~~ I guess," Virgil huffed, lifting his arms to examine his new sleeves.

"Now the adventure can begin!" Roman announced. "We four were once honored members of the Sanders Kingdom, with you three being high ranking members of the court of Prince Roman. But as we were off in the forest hunting, the Dragon-Witch flew to the castle, attacking the kingdom! She placed a spell over our citizens, turning them into her mindless minions, but somehow, the princess was immune. The Dragon-Witch took the princess to a far-off tower to learn her secret, and that is where our story begins! We must free the princess, determine how to break the Dragon-Witch's curse, and defeat her! What do you think?"

"It definitely sounds like a classic Disney fairy tale," Logan stated.

"You just combined _Sleeping Beauty_ with _Tangled_ ," Virgil said.

" ~~I worked hard on this story I thought it was original enough~~ Hush, Sir Virgil the Vigilant!" Roman exclaimed, pointing a dramatic finger at Virgil. "This adventure will not only save the Sanders Kingdom but prove the glory of the traditional tales of knights and dragons! Let us be off!" Roman bounded towards the cottage door with Patton in tow. Virgil and Logan shot each other glances before following them into the all too cheery forest.

"Logan the Logical, oh mighty wizard, you must find the location of the princess's tower before it's too late!" Roman announced as the wind ruffled his hair dramatically.

"Why was I chosen to play a wizard?" Logan questioned. "Magic systems in fantasy rarely have concrete rules of usage and are far from logical. Magic isn't even real. And how would I find the tower using magic? What spells exist in this universe?"

" ~~Why do you guys keep pointing out the story flaws?~~ If you didn't want to participate, then you didn't have to come," Roman huffed. "But it's too late now, anyway. The story isn't finished until we defeat the Dragon-Witch and save the Kingdom, so unless you want to leave forcibly and suffer from a headache for the rest of the day, then I suggest you use your magic and find the tower!"

"I don't need to use magic, I can use logic," Logan sighed. "Considering you used the word 'tower' to describe the princess's prison, I can hypothesize that this tower is tall enough to see from a distance, unless it is similar to the tower in the movie _Tangled_ , and it is hidden. The best way to prove my hypothesis is to get to a vantage point and look around. Patton, help me to climb this tree." Logan stalked over to the nearest tree, a grand oak, and grabbed onto the lower branches. Patton hurried over to him and stuck his shield under his feet, pushing Logan up with a yelp into the tree. "A warning would have been appreciated, Patton."

"Sorry, Lo!" Patton laughed. "I got excited." Logan adjusted his glasses and began climbing further up the tree, disappearing from sight.

"I can see what must be the castle in the far distance," Logan shouted from above. "There is a tower to the north, within walking distance."

"Perfect!" Roman exclaimed. "I'll help you out of the tree!" Roman began to sing, letting out a sweet melody. An eagle's cry rang out across the forest, followed by Logan's yelling.

"Logan!" Virgil shouted, eyes widening. " ~~He's dying!~~ " Logan appeared through the bushes, his left arm firmly grasped by a bald eagle carrying him down.

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?" Logan screamed as the eagle gently set him on the ground. It flew back through the branches with another majestic cry.

"Thank you, my feathered friend!" Roman called.

"You can talk to animals?" Virgil scoffed.

"I'm the Disney prince, of course I can," Roman said. " ~~It's not original, dang it.~~ "

"That's so cool!" Patton cheered.

"That was ~~actually a bit of fun~~ unpleasant," Logan huffed, brushing leaves off his robe. "Well, if we are to 'rescue the princess', we should be off. The tower is this way." Logan pointed his wand behind the cottage and began walking.

"Onwards, Logan the Logical!" Roman exclaimed, pulling out his katana and following after him. The four Sides entered the thick forest, eyes adjusting to the darkness of the branches, the shadows broken by the dappled light above. "Sir Patton the Popular, you must be on alert! The Dragon-Witch's minions could be anywhere, searching for us!"

"Got it, Roman!" Patton cheered, pulling his shield higher. "I feel like Steven Universe!" The four padded through the picturesque forest, ~~giving Deceit time to plan out what to do~~. He ~~almost stopped listening~~ continued listening happily when Roman started singing ' _Go the Distance_ ' as he chopped away random branches and bushes. 

"Stop singing ~~you're gonna attract enemies~~ it's annoying," Virgil eventually snapped. This only prompted Roman to sing louder, switching his song to ' _Once Upon a Dream'_.

"You may want to focus now, Roman," Logan commented. "We have arrived." The four adventurers stepped out of the cover of the trees into a wide grassy clearing. The sun beat down on their faces as they stared up at the tower. It was built of smooth brick, climbing higher to the small window at the top. 

"It looks like the castle from Brave!" Patton exclaimed. "It's so cool!"

"It is the princess's prison!" Roman shouted. "Princess Valerie, it is I, Prince Roman, come to save you!" A face poked itself out of the window, looking down on the heroes.

"Prince Roman!" the face called. "Thank goodness you have arrived! The Dragon-Witch has thrown me into this tower, alone! All I've had is the company of food and books! There isn't even any Wi-Fi!"

"Why would there be Wi-Fi in a 13th-century kingdom?" Logan asked.

"Do not worry, Princess, for I shall save you!" Roman shouted, charging towards the tower. However, Virgil grabbed onto his sash and pulled him back.

"What do you expect to do, climb the tower and carry her down?" Virgil scoffed. "That's not going to work. Just call your eagle friend again, since apparently, you're an animal whisperer now."

"I ~~don't want this adventure to be easy~~ cannot do that, I'm afraid," Roman sighed. "I already used my power to save Logan from the tree, it will take some time before I can use it again."

"Seriously?" Virgil snapped. 

"You wasted your ability on me?" Logan said. "I could have easily climbed down from the tree, it was not difficult."

" ~~I want to go on an adventure with you all, I'm not going to make this easy! I'm trying to have fun here!~~  Well someone is ~~n't~~ grateful," Roman muttered, crossing his arms. 

"Princess Valerie, is there another way into the tower besides the window?" Patton called.

"Not that I can see," Princess Valerie called back. 

"We should look around for a secret entrance," Patton suggested. "Like the one Mother Gothel had! Logan can use his magic to help us!"

"I am not using 'magic'," Logan huffed as Patton grabbed his arm and tugged him towards the tower. The two padded towards the tower's base, looking around at the thick bushes surrounding it.

"Alright, if you don't want to climb the tower, how do you expect to get to Princess Valerie?" Roman asked.

"I got these arrows, right?" Virgil explained, pulling one out of his quiver. "Maybe if we find some rope, I can tie it to an arrow and shoot it through the window. Then Valerie can tie it to something and climb down."

" ~~How did I not come up with that, it's so simple!~~ That's just what I was thinking!" Roman shouted. "We just need some rope. Maybe Logan-"

"I am not using 'magic' to make a rope!" Logan shouted from across the clearing. "If you can find some natural materials, you can make your own rope." 

That was where Deceit stepped in. ~~The past three days had given him significant insight into the inner reaches of what he was; to be exact, who he and Roman were. Deceit and Creativity were just as closely tied as Deceit and Morality when it came to their definitions. Lying was just like telling a story. The only difference between them was that the audience didn't know the story was false. It was that close tie to Creativity that allowed Deceit to place the zombie-like minions of the Dragon-Witch all around the clearing, ready to strike.~~

Virgil was the first to hear them, thanks to his heightened senses. It was a low, guttural growl, coming from the trees behind him. He spun around to see a medieval peasant stumble out of the forest, clothes tattered and eyes dull, a broadsword in their hands. Two other peasants followed the first one, carrying torches. More dead-eyed peasants stumbled out of the trees with different weapons, heading towards the Sides.

"It's the Dragon-Witch's minions!" Roman exclaimed, charging forward with katana in hand. Virgil hurried towards the tower, pulling his bow off of his back and loading arrows. His first arrow missed completely, though his second arrow did manage to strike the chest of one of the zombie minions. Patton ran to Virgil's side, shield in front of him.

"We've got your back, kiddo!" Patton shouted as Logan stood beside Virgil, wand raised. The first of the minions came from the right, ax swinging. Patton jumped to meet the ax, shield clanging as he shoved the minion back. Logan swiped the ax from their hand and finished them off. He tucked the wand into his bowtie and gripped the ax with both hands.

"This will be far more practical than a stick," Logan said with a grin. As Roman carved his own way through the horde, the three Sides teamed up, using their weapons to make enemy after enemy fall. Virgil picked off as many minions as he could with his arrows, eliminating the threat before it got to them. He stayed close to Patton's shield, letting Logan take out any enemies that slipped through Virgil's arrows. Strangely, no matter how many arrows Virgil fired, his quiver always seemed to be full. 

As Virgil fired another arrow at a minion that slipped through Roman's onslaught, a tall minion with a rope in their hands leaped at Virgil, the rope wrapping around his neck. 

" ~~I'm dying I'm dying~~ -" Virgil tried to shout, but all that came out was a choked gasp. Logan's ax spun around, hitting Virgil's assailant. The anxious Side gasped as the rope fell from his neck, rubbing it in disbelief.

"Are you ok, Virge?" Patton cried. Virgil nodded, breath coming in heavy. Roman backed up towards them, katana swinging into another minion as his back hit Patton's.

"They won't stop coming!" Roman shouted. " ~~They should have stopped attacking by now, I didn't make the minions this difficult to defeat!~~ " The four Sides stood back to back, picking off as many minions as they could. Virgil's hands shook as he fired arrow after arrow. As the Sides focused on the nearby minions, however, they ignored the minion standing at the edge of the clearing, bow and arrow in hand. 

Deceit snapped his fingers. The arrow flew from its sender and met its target.

The minions left alive spun around, running with strange fluidity back into the forest. The bodies of the fallen minions snapped away, dropping through the ground into nothingness. The four Sides stood there, panting, sweat covering their faces.

"We did it!" Roman whooped, raising his bloodless katana high in the air before sliding it into his sheath.

"Great job, Loga-" Patton cheered as he turned around. A scream escaped his throat. "Logan!" Logan looked at Patton with wide eyes, chest still as the arrow stuck out of his throat, almost poking out the other end. ~~Even Deceit had to look away.~~ No one moved.

Deceit snapped his fingers. Logan fell through the ground, disappearing from the story.

"Logan!" Patton shouted.

"He..." Virgil gasped. " ~~I'm going to throw up.~~ " 

"Roman, where did he go?" Patton yelled. "Is... Is he..."

-

"Where am I?" Logan's voice growled behind Deceit. Deceit turned around, walking out of the little room he was in into the living room, where Logan stood, back in his polo and tie, fists tight, glaring at Deceit. There was no trace of an arrow in his throat.

"You ~~didn't die~~ died, Logan," Deceit purred. "I thought you would have noticed that."

"I am a Side, I cannot die," Logan huffed. "What is going on?"

"You ~~get to~~ don't get to watch your friends save the Sanders Kingdom," Deceit laughed, moving away from the front door and holding his hand out for Logan to see. The Side hurried to the door. He poked his head through the door and gasped.

It was the clearing he had just left, still sunny and picturesque, the tower standing strong. Virgil stood hunched over, shoulders shaking as Patton patted his back. Another shiver coursed through Virgil as he threw up. Roman stood staring at the spot Logan had been in, frozen.

"Roman, if Logan's dead, I'm killing you," Virgil coughed. 

" ~~I don't know what happened to him~~ I apologize that my story set-up here scared you both," Roman said, ~~putting on his mask of confidence~~. "It's what happens if one of us 'dies' in the story. The story teleports them back to my room! ~~I don't know if Logan's ok or if he's dead I don't know if he even can die~~ He's probably curling up with a book, waiting for all of us to finish the story!"

"And you didn't tell us this before?" Virgil growled. He rubbed his sleeve over his mouth and stood straight. Patton kept his hand on his shoulder. ~~The bells clanged in Deceit's head.~~

"I ~~literally just came up with the idea~~ didn't think it was necessary," Roman chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. " ~~No one was supposed to get killed in this adventure.~~ I guess I overestimated my own creativity. Ironic, huh?"

"I forget how ~~good~~ terrible an actor Roman is at times," Deceit muttered. 

"This is a trick," Logan stated.

"It is ~~not~~ a trick," Deceit said. Logan gritted his teeth. He ran through the door towards Roman.

"Roman!" he shouted, charging through the grass, but Roman didn't respond to him.

"You're sure he's ok?" Patton asked.

" ~~No~~ Positive, padre!" Roman exclaimed. Logan reached his hand out to Roman, trying to grab his sash, only for his hand to fall right through the prince. Logan tried again to grab him, but his hand touched nothing.

"They can ~~'t~~ see you," Deceit sighed, leaning against the door frame. " ~~I connected a window to Roman's adventure to the front door of the living room.~~ They don't care about you."

"I do not understand how this is possible," Logan growled, stalking towards Deceit. "But you cannot keep me here. I am leaving." Logan sunk down through the floor, glaring at Deceit the entire time. Deceit padded over to the TV, grinning. This was the third feature he'd learned about the rooms during his experimentation. Logan floated up from the floor in his traditional spot, eyes widening.

"Why am I back here?" Logan shouted.

"You ~~have~~ don't have emotions, why are you getting angry?" Deceit purred. 

"I ~~am~~ am not angry, I am curious as to how you are able to keep me in here," Logan grunted.

"You'll ~~want to~~ not want to look up the stairs," Deceit snorted, pointing up the staircase. Logan trudged to the base of the stairs, looking up to the second floor. Instead of leading to Thomas's hallway, a door sat at the top of the stairs. "That's ~~my room~~ definitely not my room. Since I ~~connected my room to the living room~~ didn't do anything with my room, the living room ~~counts~~ doesn't count as part of my room, and I definitely ~~can~~ cannot lock people in my room once they're there."

"What are you trying to do, Deceit?" Logan sighed. "What purpose does this little venture serve?" Deceit chuckled and padded back to the viewing room he'd made. Virgil had finished throwing up (how ~~pathetic~~ grand was he?) and had grabbed the rope he'd almost choked on, tying it around an arrow and firing it through the window. Princess Valerie was just climbing down the tower, wearing a flowing, glittery red dress. Deceit sat on the grass cross-legged, putting his bowler hat in his lap. 

"Prince Roman, thank you!" Princess Valerie cried. "You've saved me. I'm sad to see that your friend has fallen in battle."

" ~~Play it cool, Roman, even though Logan may be dead because of you.~~ Fear not, dear Valerie, for Logan will be alright," Roman crooned, hurrying to Valerie in a dramatic embrace. "We shall avenge him! ~~We need to finish this story so I can search for Logan, I need to save him. I can't let the others know something's wrong.~~  Tell us, Valerie, how did you avoid the curse?"

"It's our royal blood, Roman!" Valerie cried. "The Dragon-Witch cannot control pure good! You are the only one who can defeat her without succumbing to her curse!"

"Valerie's your sister in this story?" Virgil huffed. "Please don't turn this into some weird  ~~~~ _Game of Thrones_ scenario."

"Shush!" Roman snapped. "Valerie, do you know of a way to defeat that evil witch?"

"Yes! The tower I was trapped in was once the home of a great blacksmith! Her books were all over the tower with me. She made a sword strong enough to pierce through dragon scale! She called it the Dragonslayer. But when the Dragon-Witch tried to kill her, she hid the sword in a deep cave and used her mechanical skills to booby trap the cave so only those with pure hearts could enter and survive! She made a map and hid it in the tower, I grabbed it on my way out!" Valerie unfolded her clenched hand to reveal a crumpled piece of parchment. Roman took the map and examined it.

"Onwards, everyone!" Roman exclaimed. "We must find the Dragonslayer and avenge our fallen comrade! ~~If I killed Logan, I'm not letting his death be wasted. I'm finishing this quest even if it kills me!~~ " As Patton took the map from Roman and began to look at it, a figure sat down beside Deceit in the grass. Deceit's narrowed eye glanced over at Logan.

"I have determined that I am truly locked in this room," Logan sighed. "I do not know why you wanted this, and I have decided not to ask, for I know you will not answer truthfully. While Roman may try to attack you and force you to unlock your room, I will not do that. It would be a waste of energy and seeing as I am currently suffering no negative side effects as I have in other rooms, I am currently in no danger. I will, however, make sure you do not harm my ~~friends~~ fellow Sides while they are on their adventure. Believe me when I say, Deceit, that no good will come of this."

"No good for ~~Roman~~ me, at least," Deceit chuckled, as the princess and the three foolish Sides trampled back into the forest, ~~right into Deceit's trap~~.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter is a lot longer than I thought it would be! Wow! Because of that, I'm making this grand adventure into a two-parter! 
> 
> Next time, Prince Roman, Sir Virgil the Vigilant, and Sir Patton the Popular search for the Dragonslayer!


	5. Strong In the Real Way- Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit has fun, Virgil is sick and done, Patton reminds the others why he's their 'dad', and Roman fakes it till he makes it.  
> He doesn't make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2! Are you ready, kids? I'm giving everyone a fun moment to shine here! See if you can guess what astronomy book Logan is quoting from!
> 
> Beta Read by- akl1
> 
> Warnings-
> 
> Creepy Crawly Death Dealers, Character Death (not really), Manipulation

Deceit had ~~n't~~ thought through the imprisonment part of his plan. It seemed ~~simple~~ difficult enough: ~~use his powers to make it seem like Logan got an arrow to the throat, use Logan's panic to summon him to the living room, lock him in, rinse and repeat with the other two until Roman finally caved~~. Technically the plan was going ~~well~~ poorly. Roman, Virgil, and Patton trudged on through Roman's Disney forest, birds tweeting sweetly ~~as Roman's flamboyant acting grew more and more extra, Virgil's snark hid his hissing snake with little success, and Patton's honeysuckle lies tried to lessen the pain they all felt~~. Princess Valerie padded between Roman and Patton. She seemed like a fusion between Snow White and Princess Aurora, happily prancing about even though she'd just witnessed the battle between the Sides and the Dragon-Witch's minions. That part of the plan was still exciting boring. It was a bit strange to watch them travel, to have the grass below Deceit move without his consent. But the adventure was thrilling enough to make the strange movements worth it.

No, the part that Deceit had ~~n't~~ thought through was what he was going to do with the Sides once they were in the living room.

"'To reduce the residual color to insignificant levels,'" Logan quoted from the astronomy book he'd been practically devouring since Deceit's plans began. "'much more expensive glass is required, in either a two- or three-lens configuration.'"

"Please ~~stop~~ continue," Deceit muttered. 

"Well, I would like to spend my time in here reading until you eventually decide to release me," Logan said. "However, I have tried and failed to summon my own book, and you have none in the living room. Therefore, until Roman, Virgil, and Patton arrive at the cave where Roman's oddly named Dragonslayer sword rests, I have nothing to do but quote from my memory."

" ~~Out loud~~ in silence?" Deceit mumbled.

"I will admit, seeing the discomfort on your face does make my time here slightly more tolerable," Logan chuckled, grinning. Deceit groaned softly, standing up and walking out of the viewing room. ~~How did this Side think he had no emotions when he clearly relished in Deceit's torment? Maybe he could take the Crofter's jar he had hidden in his room and eat it in front of Logan's face. Yes, that would show him.~~  

"Roman, please, I'm begging you, if you're going to sing the entire time, pick something from one of the recent films, please?" Virgil's voice whined loudly enough for Deceit to hear from the stairs. "If I hear another rendition of ' _Once Upon a Dream_ ' again, I'm going to lose it!"

"I'm ~~panicking enough as is and I can't think of any other song to sing~~ sorry you dislike a Disney classic, Sir Virgil," Roman huffed. "But it is the tune to which we march!"

"If I have to hear that tune again, I'm gonna ~~not do anything because I don't want to lose someone else~~ shoot an arrow at you, then you can go join Logan in your room and this whole stupid adventure will end."

"Virgil, don't joke about that, alright?" Patton chided as Deceit entered the viewing room once again with his Crofter's jar. "W ~~e're all worried enough about Logan as is.~~ " Logan looked over at Deceit, and his eyes widened.

"I knew you were the one stealing the Crofter's!" Logan shouted as Deceit sat down. 

"If you continue rambling, I'll ~~continue~~ stop eating," Deceit chuckled, lifting a spoonful of the jelly into his mouth. Logan shot him an angry scowl. 

"'These apochromatic reflectors-'" Logan quoted, before stopping. "It seems they've arrived."

"We're here!" Patton announced, shoving through a bush with his shield. Roman held the bush away for Princess Valerie and Virgil to slip through. The four adventurers looked up at the obstacle in front of them. Wet gray rocks jutted up from the ground, climbing higher to the sky at a steep angle. A bird nestled in the cracks of the cliffside, lizards skittering along the surface. 

"...you sure about that, Pat?" Virgil scoffed.

"I followed the map," Patton sighed. "Look! It says that the Dragonslayer's cave should be right here!" Virgil looked at the map and frowned.

"Are we sure this map even leads anywhere?" Virgil asked.

"Why else would there have been a map in my tower?" Valerie huffed, crossing her arms. "It must be here somewhere. It's like the blacksmith's notes said, only those with the blood of pure good can find the sword. Prince Roman, we must look around." Roman nodded, and the two royals began running their hands along the cliff wall, fingers tracing the tiny cracks and irregularities.

"They must be joking," Logan sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "There is a giant boulder five feet to their left, that is clearly the cave entrance! Am I the only one who sees it?"

" ~~Yes~~ no," Deceit said, squinting his eyes. He had to give Roman credit, the cave entrance ~~blended in well with the rest of the wall~~ stood out like a sore thumb. If Deceit squinted his eyes just right, covering his brow like a sentry looking in the distance, he could see the edges of the boulder against the rest of the wall, ~~but just barely~~. As Roman's hand neared the boulder border, Deceit could make out strange details on the boulder's surface; strange bumps and shapes that made the boulder look like-

"GREETINGS ADVENTURERS!" the boulder shrieked, opening two giant blue eyes and a giant stone mouth. Deceit and the adventurers screamed, jumping back. Virgil practically jumped into Patton's arms, firing an arrow at the boulder. He struck the boulder's eye, but the arrow snapped on the stone, crumbling. "Hey, that's no way to welcome someone from a nap!"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't start screaming out of nowhere!" Virgil snapped. "Why am I arguing with a boulder? What has my life come to?"

"You guys need something?" the boulder asked.

"Yes, dear rock!" Roman exclaimed. "We seek the Dragonslayer."

"We have a map that led us here," Valerie said, taking the map from Patton and holding up for the boulder to see. It let out a soft groan.

"Very well," it sighed. "Who among you have hearts of pure good?"

" ~~I don't know~~ that would be me," Roman said, stepping forward.

"Alright then," the boulder exclaimed. "I'm gonna need you to stick your hand in my mouth now." The boulder stretched it's mouth wide, sticking out a stone tongue.

"I'm sorry, what?" Roman said.

"Stick your hand in my mouth," the boulder sighed. "I can't just 'sense' if you're good or not! I need to taste you. That way, if you aren't good, then I can eat you!"

"I'm sorry, what?" Virgil asked.

"Are you both hard of hearing?" the boulder asked. "That's alright. I'll say it louder for you. PUT YOUR HAND IN MY MOUTH. IF YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH, I'LL EAT YOU! Did you hear me that time?"

"Yep, we heard you," Virgil stammered. "Roman, you sure this is a good idea?"

" ~~No, I'm not good enough~~ Of course it's a good idea!" Roman exclaimed. "But, uh... who knows what this boulder considers good?"

"Well, let's see," the boulder said. "Loyalty, kindness, generosity, honesty, humbleness-"

"Hey, I think those things are good too!" Patton exclaimed. "Maybe I can try and put my hand in there."

"I'm not sure," Roman stammered. "There are a lot of factors at play here. Valerie and I come from royal blood, pure good, but morals can vary from person to person, I've created enough characters to know- PATTON NO!" It was too late. While Roman had been ranting, Patton slipped away from Virgil and stuck his hand into the boulder's mouth. Everyone stared at Patton with a look of horror.

" ~~He's gonna get eaten~~ Patton, do you feel ok?" Virgil asked, biting his thumbnail.

"It kinda tickles!" Patton chuckled. "It's like getting licked by a giant cat!"

"That is quite strange," Princess Valerie said. Deceit pondered the situation for a moment. He supposed he could have the rock eat Patton... but did he really want to deal with Patton before Virgil? There was a reason Deceit didn't want Patton to know of his meddling with his emotions. The boulder let out a low rumble and spat Patton's hand out. The Side's hand was covered in tiny scratches.

"Congratulations!" the boulder cheered. "It seems you are qualified to test your mettle and attempt to harness the power of the Dragonslayer." The cliffside began to shake as the boulder's smile grew. "Good luck!" The boulder began to climb into the cliff, revealing a dark tunnel behind it. The tunnel seemed to eat away at the sunlight dripping in. Cobwebs broke apart at the shaking. The screech of stone on stone stopped as the boulder completely disappeared into the cliff. Roman drew his sword.

"Onwards!" Roman exclaimed, hurrying into the tunnel's darkness.

"Roman, wait!" Virgil called, racing in after him. "We don't know what traps are in here!" 

"Spiders!" Patton yelped as the remains of a cobweb brushed against his face. He grabbed Valerie's arm and scurried into the tunnel to Roman's side. "Why did it have to be spiders?" Their movement pulled Deceit and Logan into the tunnel, the world shifting to fit everyone into the tunnel. Deceit and Logan now sat behind the adventurers, bathed in darkness.

"We need light," Virgil muttered. 

"I think this is a torch on the wall," Valerie said.

"Don't grab anything," Virgil snapped. "It could be a lever that activates a trap door that drops us into a pit of alligators."

"No one would make a trap you had to willingly activate," Logan sighed. "And if there were alligators, they would have long died out by now. ~~They're gonna get themselves killed without me.~~ " Roman slammed his sword into the stone wall. A spark flew from the wall and landed on the torch Valerie had already grabbed from the wall. The torch burst into flame, lighting the tunnel. "That is not how fire works."

"I don't see any traps," Virgil muttered. "But there must be some nearby. Be careful where you step." Patton took the torch from Valerie and led the way, shadows leaping behind them with each step. Roman stayed close to Valerie's side, sword raised, while Virgil picked up the rear of the pack, arrow ready to fire at any time. Logan had decided that being pulled along without any consent was no longer fun, and walked behind the group at a steady pace, eyes tracing the cracks in the stone walls. Deceit walked ahead of the group, eyes open for the traps he had ~~altered~~ no knowledge of.

"Hey, stairs!" Patton exclaimed. A stone staircase wrapped downwards, disappearing into the shadows below. 

"Great, darkness," Virgil sighed. "Just where I belong."

"No self-deprecating comments, Virge!" Patton called as he began to descend the stairs.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Virgil muttered as he followed everyone down. Their shadows stretched against the cylindrical walls, silence echoing around them. Deceit could ~~n't~~ just let them descend normally, let Patton make some pun about dungeons and darkness. A grin on his face, Deceit snapped his fingers. The stone stairs folded into themselves, a smooth slide downwards. Slippery ice covered the stone surface just as Roman let out a yelp. Patton tumbled forward, zooming down face first. Roman grabbed onto Valerie's arm as he fell, turning them into a falling boulder of flailing limbs. Virgil tried to grab onto the wall and stop his descent, but he fell back onto his back and tumbled after them. While Logan and Deceit didn't fall onto their butts, the group pulled them along in a violent spin deeper into the cave.

"Deceit!" Logan yelled as Virgil, Valerie, Roman, and Patton screamed. Deceit just laughed, fingers linking together as he tried not to throw up. Patton gripped onto his torch and shield for dear life, the speed of his descent snuffing the flame out. Logan was the only thing Deceit could see as the group continued screaming. A sliver of light appeared at the bottom of the stairs, going by too fast to register. The four adventurers flew through the sliver, skidding to a stop.

The stairs had deposited them in a semi-large room, where two torches sat on either side of the door they'd entered from. They all laid in a heap in the doorway, Virgil on top of Roman on top of Valerie on top of Patton, who laid on his shield. Everyone let out groans of pain.

"Hey kiddos, my shield is kinda stabbing me in the chest with all of you on top of me, think you could get off?" Patton groaned.

"Can we be done now?" Virgil groaned, falling off the pile. He stared up at the ceiling, not bothering to move.

"I can't just end the adventure, ~~I designed it to only end when we defeated the Dragon-Witch and I don't want to go back to the Mind Palace if Logan really did die without avenging him,~~ I still need to prove the glory of fairy tales!" Roman huffed, standing up and helping Valerie stand.

" ~~If I didn't hate them before, I definitely don't like them now.~~ Ok, you've proved it to me, _Tangled_ is ~~worse~~ better than _Princess and the Frog, let's go home already_ ," Virgil groaned.

"Sir Virgil, you cannot give up!" Valerie cried. "You must save the Sanders Kingdom!"

"Seriously?" Virgil snapped, sitting up. "Logan might be dead because of this stupid adventure, and who knows what else awaits us in this stupid cave? I'm not ~~losing anyone else~~ dying in here."

"What is that sound?" Logan muttered, looking around. The torchlight didn't extend to the other side of the room, but through the darkness, skittering noises echoed around the walls. Deceit could ~~n't~~ remember what he had planned for this room- this was all ~~Roman's~~ his design.

"I'm not letting anyone ~~else~~ die," Roman snapped. "I made this story so we could all have an adventure, and that's what's happening. My story is crumbling around me and I can't stop my friends from dying. Logan wasn't supposed to die."

"Guys, stop," Valerie said. "Do you hear that?" The skittering noises grew in volume. Virgil stood up, grabbing the bow he'd dropped in his descent down the stairs. Roman gripped his sword tighter, raising it towards the sound. Valerie took Patton's torch and held it to the lit torches, setting it ablaze. She took a few steps forward and held the torch high. A hundred beady eyes stared down upon them.

"CREEPY CRAWLY DEATH DEALER!" Patton shrieked. "GIANT CREEPY CRAWLY DEATH DEALER!" The spider looked like a tarantula, with brown fur and a large torso. It dropped down from a giant spider web that hung in the corner of the room, human-like shapes clinging to the web in tight, white silk cocoons. Even Deceit had to shiver as one of Thomas's biggest fears came hissing towards them. Patton let out a shriek, crouching behind his shield on the ground. Virgil fired an arrow at the spider, frantically reloading.

"Finally, something I can fight!" Roman shouted, sword high. With a dramatic battle cry, he ran towards the spider and began furiously chopping at one of its long legs. The spider kicked at Roman, sending him skidding across the floor. Valerie backed herself against one of the walls as Patton continued screaming and Virgil kept firing his arrows, seemingly doing nothing to the monster.

"KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE," Patton screamed. Valerie looked at the torch in her hand. With a grunt, she chucked the burning torch at the giant tarantula.

"Does she really expect that to work?" Logan sighed over the screaming heroes. The torch hit the spider's torso head on. The flames snuffed out and the torch tumbled to the ground. However, a few sparks grew on the landing spot, eating at the spider's fur. Roman stood up from his hit and continued chopping at the spider's leg.

"We can't kill this thing!" Virgil shouted. "Patton, I can't focus with you screaming in my ear!" Virgil fired another arrow, its aim taking it into one of the spider's eye. The spider let out a scream. "Roman, we need to get out of here!"

"I can't just run away!" Roman grunted as he swung. "That is a coward's action! I am ~~not~~ a hero!"

"Heroes can't be heroes if they're dead!" Virgil roared. The spider continued screaming as Valerie's flame spread farther down its torso.

"Deceit, you need to release me," Logan growled, stalking up to the yellow side. "I need to assist them!"

" ~~No you don't~~ Yes you do," Deceit hissed. "You ~~need to see Roman's lies~~ don't need to hear anything."

"Wha- What do I need to hear, Patton's screaming?" Logan shouted. The spider lunged at Patton and Virgil. The two sides rolled in opposite directions, away from the spider's fangs. Virgil bolted towards Valerie, who had a death grip on the unlit torch, as Patton crawled across the floor on the other side of the room, hidden by his shield.

"Roman, over there!" Virgil shouted, pointing an arrow to the side of the room behind the spider. The burning arachnid revealed a closed wooden door nestled against the wall. "Let's go!"

"No!" Roman shouted. "I must defeat this villain!"

"Do you want to end up like Logan?" Virgil snapped. Roman stopped his swinging, meeting Virgil's eyeshadow covered eyes. 

"Come on, Patton!" Roman shouted, diving out from underneath the spider. The spider stopped trying to kick Roman and leaped towards him, fangs out. Roman tapped Patton's shoulder, jolting the father figure from his frozen state. The two bolted towards the door as the spider bared down on them. Virgil fired an arrow into the spider's side as he and Valerie ran to the door as well. The arrow lodged itself into the spider's head. The spider reared up, turning its attention to the princess and the archer.

"Check and see if the door is booby-trapped!" Virgil shouted as Roman and Patton reached the door. Roman grabbed the handle and pulled the door open, jumping away. Metal spikes flew from inside the door, flying past the sides into the spider. The spider let out another scream as Patton leaped through the door. Virgil and Valerie scrambled to Roman's side. The spider's long leg flew at them, now on fire thanks to Valerie, but the four heroes were already into the next room and slamming the door behind them.

"Can it follow us in?" Patton gasped.

"Wha- it's a gigantic spider, it cannot fit through that door," Logan sighed. "Why am I commenting on this, they can't even hear me." They were now in a long tunnel, where torches hung from the walls all the way to the tunnel's end. At the end stood another door, standing on a raised stone platform.

"Guys?" Virgil yelped. "Wood floor." Virgil was right- the floor of the new room was made entirely of wood. Moldy, cracked wood. 

"No sudden movements," Roman whispered. "It's the rule of three- or, well, the rule of four, counting the staircase. Four traps, and then the Dragonslayer."

"Careful steps, everyone," Patton whispered. After a few minutes of silence, no one daring to move a muscle, Valerie took the first step forward. Everyone else did the same when the wood did not break."

" ~~Big mistake~~  Good choice," Deceit chuckled, raising his hand.

"No!" Logan yelled, racing back towards Deceit from where he had been examining the wood floor, but Deceit snapped his fingers before Logan reached him. The wood platform they had been standing on a second ago broke, shattering into a hundred wood shards. They tumbled downwards into a deep pit, shadows stretching into infinity, consuming the wood.

"Run!" Virgil shouted, before bolting down the tunnel. Roman, Valerie, and Patton zoomed ahead of him as the wood floor began crumbling behind them, faster and faster.

"Come on, we're ~~not~~ gonna make it!" Patton yelled. 

"Fix this!" Logan shouted, grabbing Deceit's wrist. Deceit pulled away as the panting of the heroes grew louder. ~~The bells rang so loud in his head, he could barely hear their frantic shouts.~~ He gritted his teeth as more and more wood fell into oblivion.  ~~If he was going to do anything else, he needed to do it now.~~  The plank of wood in front of the door crumbled, leaving a large gap between the heroes and salvation.

"Jump!" Roman shouted. He leaped across the gap, boots slamming into the stone platform. Patton and Valerie jumped at the same time. Valerie's dress became tangled in Patton's feet as they landed into one another, tumbling to the ground. Virgil's feet pressed down, ready to jump. The wood underneath him crumbled. His feet tumbled downwards, pulling Virgil along with him. He held his hand out, reaching for the three safe heroes, but he was far from the stone platform. Deceit would ~~n't~~  soon forget the look of pure terror on Virgil's face.

"Virgil!" Roman, Patton, and Logan shouted as Virgil screamed. He tumbled down into the infinite pit of shadows, his screams fading away as his purple clothing became impossible to see. Patton covered his mouth, letting out a strained sound. Logan's eyes widened with a realization. He turned to the living room door just as a scream ripped through the living room. 

"Virgil!" Logan shouted, racing to the door, shoving Deceit aside. The snakes and the bells screaming and ringing in his head were so loud, Deceit had to focus to keep a straight face. He had to remind himself of the purpose of his plan. "Virgil, it is alright, you are safe now. Take deep breaths."

"Logan?" Virgil croaked. Deceit glanced at Roman and Patton, who still stared at the spot where Virgil had been. ~~He couldn't stand staying around for the sobfest.~~ He glided out into the living room, grabbing the bowler hat that had fallen from his head from Logan's shove. Logan crouched beside Virgil on the stairs. Virgil had returned to his black and purple hoodie and gripped the carpet for dear life, almost lying on the stairs. His wide eyes made him look even more like a raccoon than normal. 

"Remember to breathe, Virgil," Logan stated. "In for four seconds, hold for seven, and out for eight." Logan lifted his hands to the beat of Virgil's breathing, coaxing him along the exercise. A minute later, Virgil still gripped the staircase, but he sat up, breathing calmer.

"I was falling," Virgil gasped. "How am I here? How are you alive?!"

"Virgil, we are sides, we cannot die," Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses. "While I had ~~thought I had died for a moment due to the pain~~  been shocked at the arrow, it was merely a trick from Deceit." Logan waved his hand towards Deceit, who made eye contact with Virgil. Deceit smiled at that familiar anger filled Virgil's eyes. "He's set up a room that allows us access to Roman's adventure, but we are unable to interact with him and Patton. I have been observing you all since I arrived here."

"And what, you didn't decide to come warn us?" Virgil snapped. "We thought you died!"

"I was unable to return to you all because Deceit has connected the living room to his room. That has given him the ability to metaphorically 'lock his doors' and keep us trapped in here." Virgil pried his eyes away from Deceit. He sunk down through the floor... only to pop back in his spot, now standing. Still weak, he stumbled into Logan, who easily caught him. "As I said, we are trapped."

"What are you trying to do, Deceit?" Virgil hissed, standing straight, a hand gripped around Logan's arm. "Is this all some sick game for your own amusement?"

"You ~~actually believe~~ don't believe I would tell you," Deceit scoffed.

"Give me one good reason not to come over there and-" Virgil hissed.

"Violence would not solve anything, Virgil," Logan stated. "Deceit is the only one who can unlock his room, besides Thomas, and we have no way to contact him. The best course of action would be to find a way to convince Deceit to release us."

"I am not going to just sit here at the mercy of that cobra," Virgil growled. "Roman and Patton are gonna get themselves killed without us."

"Falsehood," Logan snapped. "I just said they cannot die."

"Well, they're gonna get themselves mentally scarred, or hurt, we can still get hurt!" Virgil yelled. "Deceit, you can't keep us here forever. Thomas needs Logan. And me, I guess. So, if you're gonna torture us or something, just get on with it, ok?"

"The preferred ending to this scenario would be to avoid any torture," Logan added.

"There's something you ~~need to know~~ definitely don't need to know," Deceit said. Roman was ~~practically overflowing with~~ easily managing his lies at that point. _Everything is fine, Padre, Virgil's joining Logan in my room. They're both fine. I'm fine. Everything is going well. See, we have the sword, it looks just like how I imagined it! We'll defeat the Dragon-Witch and everything will be fine. We can head back to the living room afterward and make some cookies. No, we can't leave now! It's not worth getting a headache and-_

"Young man, a headache is worth making sure Virgil and Logan are alright!" Patton's voice shouted from inside the viewing room. Virgil jumped slightly as looks of surprise (and slight horror) folded over everyone's faces. Everyone recognized Patton's Serious Dad Voice™, and even a side as cold-hearted as Deceit knew not to mess with the warm cuddly father when he had his Serious Dad Voice™. Deceit stalked back into the viewing room, eyes shut tight as a headache ran through his head. In the past, when Thomas lied this much, Deceit ~~relished in~~ hated the trickery. ~~But now Roman's giant red snake towered over the other four, gluttonous and fat from its own lies, and it was ready to burst. The other three snakes spat out warnings, especially the light blue snake, but the red snake refused to quit in its grand show of ego and pride. It could not show weakness, and neither could Deceit.~~ He was so ~~close~~ far. 

In the time Deceit had been gone, Roman, Patton, and Valerie had entered a new room- a large circular chamber with a long pedestal in the middle of the room. Dust covered the pedestal, with a sword-shaped absence of dust in the middle. Torches and a long staircase wrapped around the wall, leading to two grand stone doors near the chamber roof. Deceit almost tripped when his foot stepped onto the air, floating far above the floor. Roman had a grand golden broadsword in his right hand, left hand resting on the stone doors. Valerie cowered next to him as Patton gave Roman an angry stare, hands resting on his hips, shield dangling from his back.

"Roman, end the adventure," Patton said. "This has gone too far."

"They're ~~not~~ fine!" Roman shouted, teeth bared. "Don't you trust me, Patton? ~~You don't trust me, I don't trust my own abilities anymore, I'm a failure, everyone's dying, I need to avenge them.~~ "

"I'm sorry, Ro, but I can't. We need to help Logan and Virgil. He must be so scared after that fall!" Logan and Virgil entered the viewing room, slightly startled by the strange floor. Logan kept his hand on Virgil's shoulder, whispering the information he'd gathered so far into Virgil's ear.

"I am ~~not~~ in control!" Roman shouted. ~~The bells roared, Deceit's church packed with lies, each ready to confess their sins to him, but he was only one man, he was the lies of one man, not five. At least he could count his blessings for one thing- he didn't hear _their_ lies yet.~~

"Then why are Logan and Virge-" Patton bit his lips, daring not to say what he truly believed. Deceit still heard it, however. Virgil padded away from Logan, shoving past Deceit.

"I don't know what you're up to, but you need to stop it," Virgil growled. He made his way to Roman's side, as the prince stood in silence like a child all alone. "I get you can't hear me Princey, but you need to listen to Dad, Deceit is stealing control from you." Roman still needed one final push. And Deceit had a ~~perfect~~ terrible idea.

"Oh, _Anxiety_ ," Deceit purred. "Would you like to see something ~~exciting~~ boring?" Virgil turned around, giving Deceit a death glare. A roar echoed around the chamber, shaking the floor under the three hero's feet.

" _The Dragon-Witch_ ," Roman growled. With a roar, he shoved the rough stone doors, stone scrapping loudly as the night air rushed in.

"There was a secondary entrance to the cave?" Logan scoffed. "And why is it suddenly midnight?"

"Logan, not now," Virgil growled, as he, Logan, and Deceit were dragged outside by the scurrying heroes. The doors led outside to the side of the large cliff the heroes had entered in previously, where a large, boulder-covered field stretched out before them. A castle loomed in the distance beyond, lights speckling the walls. A shadow flew overhead, covering the heroes. Deceit didn't bother to look up. ~~He knew who had arrived.~~  

She landed in the middle of the field, perched on a giant mountain of a boulder. Her scales glimmered in a mixture of shiny yellow and green. A purple and red witch's hat sat on her head, held on by the two long black horns sticking from her round face. Her serpentine eyes glowed in the shadows, the left eye a warm brown, the right eye a brilliant yellow. ~~She was a lizard after Deceit's own heart.~~

"Prince Roman!" The Dragon-Witch roared. "You have lost this kingdom! This is my domain now!"

"Not for long!" Roman shouted, racing down the path leading from the cave doors to the field. "I have the Dragonslayer, the weapon of your doom! With my friends by my side, you cannot defeat us!"

"'Us?'" The Dragon-Witch scoffed. "You believe that I would let you have aid in our final battle? I will not let anyone stop this.  _Evanesco!_ " The dragon flicked her tail out, a bolt of white energy flying towards them.

"Roman, duck!" Patton shouted, diving in front of Roman, shield raised. The energy collided with his shield, reaching out to grab Valerie. In a blinding flash, Patton and Valerie disappeared, Patton's shield tumbling to the ground with a clatter.

"No!" Roman roared as Logan darted for the living room door. Roman's grip on the Dragonslayer tightened. Rage filled his eyes, teeth bared like a wild animal. With a scream, Roman raced towards the Dragon-Witch, the Dragonslayer raised high above his head. 

"Virgil!" Patton raced into the viewing room as the Dragon-Witch roared, fire soaring from her mouth, a battle of epic Disney proportions beginning. But to the moral side, who had returned to his polo and cat onesie, the battle might as well not have been happening. Patton scooped Virgil into a giant bear hug, lifting him into the air. "You're safe!"

"Yeah, I'm fine, put me down," Virgil snapped. "We have a Dark Side to deal with." Patton gently placed Virgil back on the ground.

"Logan told me what's happening," Patton said, hand resting on Virgil's shoulder. "You don't know how happy I am to see you're both alright." Patton smiled gently, his eyes glimmering with a few tears behind his Warby Parkers. Virgil gave Patton a small, hesitant smile, just as sickening as the one he gave Patton when he reappeared after Deceit's reveal. Patton turned to the snake as the Dragon-Witch cast another spell, which shot green lightning at Roman. Roman dove behind a boulder, snake screaming louder now, as Patton began walking towards Deceit, still smiling. With the situational context, Patton was far scarier than the Dragon-Witch. He was a foot in front of Deceit when his mask dropped. His smile was replaced with a sneer, anger and rage replacing that gentle, fatherly look. Deceit didn't notice the left hook that slammed into his face until it was right upon him.

"Oh sh-" Virgil yelped as Deceit fell to the ground. His bowler hat flew across the field. He laid on the ground, gloved hand gripping the bruised side of his face.

"Don't you dare harm my sons!" Patton roared. He had gone far beyond Serious Dad Voice™ now. Deceit did ~~n't~~ know what voice this was, but it sent ~~fear~~ happiness coursing through his spine. "You let us go this instant, or I swear by everything I hold dear, you'll wish you never existed!" Patton's fist reared back for another punch. Deceit braced himself, but Logan grabbed Patton's arms, pulling him backward.

"Patton, violence will solve nothing!" Logan yelled.

"I won't let him hurt you all!" Patton yelled as Roman finally managed to hit the Dragon-Witch's foot, only to be blown back by another spell. Deceit coughed as he stood up, rubbing the bruises rising on his cheek.

"I ~~didn't know~~ knew you had that in you," Deceit growled. "I'm ~~quite~~ not impressed."

"Let us talk to him!" Patton roared. "He's losing, we need to help him!"

"Shh," Deceit said, lifting a finger to his lips. " ~~You'll miss the surprise.~~ "

"Admit it, Prince Roman!" The Dragon-Witch roared, fire soaring from her mouth with each word. "You have failed. The Sanders Kingdom has fallen. Your friends are dead."

" ~~You're right~~ That's not true!" Roman shouted, wiping the blood from his cheek.

"Who are you lying to?" The Dragon-Witch roared. "Logan the Logical? Sir Virgil the Vigilant? Sir Patton the Popular? Princess Valerie? They're dead, Roman. The show is over, the curtains have fallen. There is no need to act anymore. _Expelliarmus_!" Purple lightning shot from the Dragon-Witch's tail. It slammed into Roman, who let out a scream.

"Kiddo!" Patton yelled. The Dragonslayer flew from Roman's grasp, slamming into a stone. It shattered into a dozen pieces. That was when Deceit saw the hope fade from Roman's eyes. It ignited a fire inside him, the strength to finish the plan and relish in his certain victory. The Dragon-Witch took a few steps forward, coming right in front of Roman. She leaned down to eye level with him, smoke billowing around her.

"I want you to say it," The Dragon-Witch purred. "I want you to say every little thing you've kept stored in that prideful heart of yours. I highly doubt there is any pride left, so why would your secrets matter anymore?" Roman stared into the dragon's eyes, his snake growing louder and louder.

"Roman, run already!" Virgil yelled.

" _Say it_ ," The Dragon-Witch hissed. ~~The red snake exploded.~~

"I can never do anything right," Roman sighed. "I've never been able to do anything right. I am the least popular Sanders Sides character, and there is a reason for that. I am unnecessary now. The age of princes has passed. I tried to show Virgil and the others that princes, that I am still needed, with this adventure. But I ended up killing them instead. I've ruined everything, I've ruined Thomas's life. With them gone, Thomas won't be able to function. It is my fault. I couldn't come up with ways to save them. My ideas aren't good enough. I cannot come up with anything. I am a failure, no matter how hard I try." He'd started crying long ago, but Deceit only noticed the tears now. Roman fell to his knees, bloodstains visible on his white suit.

"What are you now?" The Dragon-Witch asked. "Are you still a prince?"

"No," Roman said. "I am a frog." Finally. It should not have been so difficult. Deceit snapped his fingers. The field, the rocks, the castle, the shards of the Dragonslayer, the Dragon-Witch, even the living room door, faded away, replaced by a dark abyss surrounding them all. The five sides were bathed in their own light, though there was no light source to be seen. Roman leaned down to the ground, curling into himself as he shook. Patton's eyes were full of tears as he cried openly, ~~though he looked far less pathetic than Roman did~~.

"Roman..." Virgil sighed. Roman gasped, sitting straight. Logan, Virgil, and Patton all did a doubletake as Roman turned to face them. A smile grew across his dirty face, covered in blood and tears. 

"I ~~have~~ haven't released you all," Deceit sighed.

"You are alive," Roman gasped. "You are all alive!" Patton ran towards Roman, diving into him and swooping him up in a giant hug.

"We heard everything, we're alright," Patton whispered, gently rubbing Roman's back. Logan and Virgil approached the two with soft expressions.

"You are far from useless," Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses. "I have numerous pieces of evidence to prove that."

"Let's get you back to the living room, kiddo," Patton whispered. "You need some first aid, a warm blanket, and some cookies. Maybe we can do a Disney marathon, watch some classics."

"The thing about _Princess and the Frog_ , Princey?" Virgil said as Deceit slowly dropped away. "The frogs are still royalty, even when they're at their lowest." 

Deceit didn't bother to mark his ~~success~~ failure on his notes. He laid down on the couch, resting his sore cheek on the pillow. He fell asleep staring at the explosion of red on his web of lies, satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of world building!
> 
> The reason Virgil, Logan, and Patton don't get corrupted by Deceit's room is that while the living room is connected to Deceit's room at the time, it's not actually Deceit's room. It's still the living room, and the Mind Palace living room does not have any side effects.
> 
> The ending feels really cheesy and OOC, but... eh.
> 
> Next Time, Deceit gets a bit too cocky.


	6. What's The Use In Feeling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is exhausted, and Deceit gets cocky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter in which I don't include any of the comforting Roman got after his adventure, but don't worry, there was lots of it! And lots of Disney movies watched.  
> Is this out of character for Logan? That isn't the right question. The real question is, is this a fun scene to right? Absolutely.
> 
> Warnings!
> 
> Overworking, emotional manipulation, OOC Logan (or maybe not, I really don't know)

" _Got a secret_

_Can you keep it?_

_Swear this one you'll save._

_Better lock it_

_In a pocket_

_Taking this one to the grave._

_If I show you_

_Then I know you_

_Won't tell what I said._

_Cause two can keep a secret_

_If one of them is dead._ "

The music played around Deceit's room as the side spun around the coffee table, his cape swirling around him as he danced. Oh, his plan had gone ~~masterfully~~ terribly! He could ~~n't~~ have asked for a better ending to Roman's adventure. While Patton's punch had been ~~unexpected~~ completely expected ~~(his cheek still ached, though he had stolen some of Roman's foundation to cover the bruise)~~ , he ~~relished in~~ hated the slumber the four snakes were under. Sure, they occasionally mumbled in their sleep, but it was ~~nothing~~ something Deceit couldn't handle. The only one awake was the oldest snake, hissing softly to itself. ~~It was just how it used to be, and just how it should always have been.~~ Deceit began to sing along to the music.

" _Why do you smile_

_Like you have told a secret?_

_Now you're telling lies_

_Cause you're the one to keep it_

_But no one keeps a secret_

_No one keeps a secret._ "

He was ~~almost~~ nowhere near done with his plans. The only one left was ~~Logan~~  Patton. He could be a ~~difficult~~ simple nut to crack. It would take some time looking at Deceit's web of lies, a bit of study, but he would find Logan's weakness. It was only a matter of time. ~~The truly difficult part would be a revelation to the others.~~

" _Why when we do our darkest deeds_

_Do we tell?_

_They burn in our brains_

_Become a living hell_

_Cause everyone tells_

_Everyone tells._ "

Deceit laughed, throwing his hands up in a dramatic turn. He grabbed his bowler hat and held it out as he bowed to no one, closing his eyes and grinning. His music suddenly ended. A whooshing sound filled his ears, a cold chill seeping through his scales. 

"What are you doing?" a voice scoffed behind him. Deceit opened his eyes. He faced the living room window, the glass covered in dark purple spider curtains. He stood straight, putting his hat back on his head. He turned around to see Virgil sitting on the coffee table cross-legged, arms crossed over his chest.

" ~~Dancing~~ nothing," Deceit said, linking his fingertips. "I'm ~~shocked~~ not surprised you invited me here." 

"Hmm," Virgil said. He hopped off the coffee table and moved to the base of the dark stairs. "I would have thought the master of manipulation would be able to realize his tricks wouldn't go unheeded. We need to talk." 

"We have ~~something~~ nothing to talk about," Deceit scoffed.

"You know how when you broke into my room," Virgil said. "I decided not to tell the others? I didn't understand what happened. I figured I could figure out why you did that without worrying them. I knew you were up to something when I found you in the living room, but I figured you were after me. It made sense, I thought. But then you messed with Roman."

"Wow," Deceit said in a deadpan voice, coy grin dropping, eyebrow arching. " ~~Terrible~~ _great_ observational skills, Virgil."

"You can do whatever you want to me, I don't care," Virgil growled, taking a few steps towards Deceit. "Whatever plan or trick you have set up to torment me, I'm ~~not~~ ready. But you don't mess with the others. Did you get that? I don't know what you were playing at trying to mess with Roman like that, but I'm not letting you do anything like that again. You even look at them in a way I don't like, you answer to me."

"I'm ~~not scared~~ quaking in my boots," Deceit scoffed.

"I'll give you a reason to quake if you hurt my friends," Virgil growled. "Now get out of here." Deceit grinned, grabbing his bowler hat and doing a dramatic bow, before dropping out of Virgil's room. When he returned to his room, his music was still playing. He paused the song as he turned to his web of lies. What could Virgil do to him? Make some sarcastic comments? Thomas needed him, Virgil couldn't be rid of him. Deceit tugged on the webbing, pulling down more notecards. He reached up to a lone indigo card mixed in with the swarm of red from earlier. He pulled the notecard off the web and read it.

 _Now that Roman has been adjusted back to reality and is in a calmer state of mind, I will leave him in the care of you both. It's days like these when I appreciate not having emotions._ Deceit arched an eyebrow. Each indigo notecard seemed so ~~out of~~ in character for Logan- he was ~~n't~~ an idiot like Patton and Roman. Deceit had ~~overestimated~~ underestimated Logan's analytical abilities. He was just as blind as the rest of them. Deceit plucked a light blue notecard from the red swarm as he placed the indigo card back in its spot.

 _Logan knows he has emotions, I know he does. He's so happy about Crofter's and he gets so passionate about science and what-not, of course he knows._ Hmm. This was ~~different~~ the exact same as his other missions. ~~During those missions, the other three had no idea of what the others thought and believed, but when it came to Logan...~~ Deceit placed the card back on the web and pulled more cards down, scrolling through the memories. He slowed at a messy tangle of cards of every color- Operation Here Comes a Thought. He smiled as he plucked a red card from the mixture.

 _Don't get_ too _emotional there, Specs. Come on, you can show a bit of sympathy._ Roman knew as well. ~~Terrible~~ great. What secrets were there to reveal if everyone already knew of them? Deceit threw the card back onto the web and reset it, the cards returning to the current time. A bell chimed in Deceit's head, and a small indigo card appeared at the bottom of the web. The snake knelt down and gingerly plucked the card away.

 _Roman, I've yet to understand why you chose the one person in the Mind Palace who does not experience emotion to analyze how sad this scene is. This would be a job more suited to Patton or Virgil._ A red card appeared on the web at the same time as another bell jingled. Deceit grabbed that card as well.

 _Aw, come on now, Calculator Watch, you're the best person to give me feedback! You know all those fancy story element thingies- tropes, yes, I was just about to say that- so you'd know if any of the ones in this scene would make the audience sad!_ Deceit was ~~half tempted~~ not at all tempted to drop in on the conversation between the two sides, ~~but he decided against it~~. ~~He needed to come up with an idea for Logan. Everyone~~  no one knew the truth but him! Wait. ~~Everyone~~ no one knew the truth... but him. Therefore, the person who needed to learn the truth was...

Deceit scurried over to his table, summoning a pen and quickly scribbling down notes. Operation What's the Use in Feeling was almost in full bloom inside Deceit's head.

-

"Can I go back to my room now?" Virgil huffed as he sat cross-legged on the floor at the base of the living room stairs. Roman and Patton sat in their traditional spots, with Patton folding his hands in his lap and Roman leaning back with his hands supporting him.

"No!" Roman whined. "Doing these improvisation exercises will get Thomas into the proper mindset to record his video later today! If we're all creatively focused, he'll be able to give a great performance!"

"You're Creativity, not us," Virgil muttered. "It doesn't matter how 'creative' Pat and I are. Besides, if you want everyone to be focused, then we'd need to drag Logan out of his room, and we all know that's not gonna happen anytime soon." The serious side had locked himself away in his room to focus on planning out the next few months in Thomas's Youtube career, in what Roman called a 'Logic Explosion.' The three more emotional sides had barely seen Logan since Roman's... _incident_ , except for a few meals Patton forced him to attend and anytime Thomas had summoned him. 

"Well, it's a fun game, kiddo, and isn't family bonding important?" Patton said, giving Virgil his signature adorable smile. Virgil rolled his eyes, but a tiny grin emerged on his pale face. "Now, what am I an expert in again?"

"Jack the Ripper," Virgil reminded.

"Oh, right!" Patton exclaimed. "Well, yeah, I know a lot about good old Jack!"

"Don't think 'good' is a good word to describe him..." Virgil said, but Patton continued on.

"He loves taking long walks at night, fireplaces," Patton said. "uh... speaking of fireplaces, my friend Roman knows a lot about them!"

"Patton, that was barely anything!" Roman exclaimed. 

"Come on, fireplace expert, tell us all about fireplaces," Virgil said, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin on his fist.

"Fine," Roman huffed. "Yes, I know quite a lot about fireplaces. They have been a source of warmth and security for families for millennia! We've all seen the traditional image of a tight-knit family curling up together by a warm fire as a blizzard roars outside. Fireplaces can also be a grand symbol of romantic moments, quiet times shared between lovers! Speaking of lovers..."

"No, don't you dare," Virgil snapped.

"My friend Virgil knows everything about them!" Roman exclaimed, a stupid grin covering his face. 

"I hate you," Virgil muttered. A tingling sensation rippled through Virgil's chest, a stone dropping in his gut. A familiar feeling- Thomas was anxious about something, which therefore made Virgil anxious. "I'm afraid duty calls, Prince Charming." Virgil gave Roman a two-fingered salute and dropped through the floor.

"We are continuing this when you return!" Roman shouted as Virgil dropped away. 

The purple side popped into the real living room, where Thomas laid on the couch, furiously typing on his laptop. He chewed on his lower lip and turned to look at Virgil when he appeared.

"Hey, Virgil," Thomas said, giving him a soft wave before turning back to his laptop. If Logan was around, he would probably make a comment on Thomas's terrible posture.  "You need something?"

"Just checking in," Virgil said, putting his hands in his pockets. "What'cha working on?"

"Just some boring old adult life management stuff," Thomas sighed. 

"Noticed there's been a lot of that lately."

"Yeah, but it needs to be done. Do you wanna sit down?" Thomas motioned to the empty space on his couch. Virgil padded over and sat on top of the coffee table. Thomas ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "Goodness, I need a break." Thomas shut his laptop and placed it on the coffee table next to Virgil.

"Great, you can go sleep."

"Virge, it's 1:00 PM."

"So?" Thomas smiled, chuckling softly. He sat up and stretched his arms behind him.

"Honestly, I might just do that. Buuuuuuuut not before playing more of that new Spider-Man game."

"If you spend all your time playing it, you're gonna fall behind on your work." 

"That, dear Virgil, is why I've made sure to do a bunch of work beforehand. Now, video game time!" Soon, Thomas was swinging through the streets of New York punching bad guys while Virgil relaxed on the floor beside him. He could go back to Roman and Patton, but what if Thomas grew more anxious once he left? It was better to wait until Thomas felt completely calm. Besides, Virgil wanted to avoid his turn in the game for as long as possible.

"So..." Thomas asked. "Is Roman feeling better?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Virgil asked. "Oh, you overshot the lab, it's behind you now."

"Got it. I've talked to him, but I know he doesn't like seeming weak, so..."

"He's feeling fine."

"That's good. I just don't understand why Deceit would do that to him. I didn't realize my Dark Sides could be so... dark."

"You didn't take over Roman's adventure, Deceit did. Though, Deceit is a part of you, but so is Roman, so... let's not think too much about it."

"Yeah. Alright, analyzation time, let's get this energy flowing!"

"This is definitely my least favorite part of this game."

"Logan would love it though. He's been a big help lately with my finances and stuff. Did your talk with him go alright?" 

"What talk?"

"...the one you said you needed to have with Logan?" A feeling of dread sank through Virgil's stomach.

"Thomas, I never said I needed to talk to Logan."

"But... this morning..." Thomas paused his game, setting the controller down beside him. Virgil stood up.

"Thomas, I need to know exactly what I told you this morning."

"You said Logan was shut in his room working and he wasn't letting anyone inside, and Patton wanted to talk to him, so you asked me to let you into his room, and I did, so I assumed you talked to him. Virgil, if that wasn't you, then..."

"How long ago was this?" Thomas turned on his phone and checked the time. The feeling of dread in Virgil's stomach grew as Thomas's eyes widened.

"45 minutes ago," Thomas said.

-

Perhaps Deceit should have ~~waited longer to spring his plan into action~~ begun his plan sooner. The heat from Operation Strong in the Real Way had ~~yet to die down~~ already died down. However, who knew when he would encounter a chance like this again? ~~Logan's snake had grown louder and louder since the adventure's end as Logan stumbled about in his room, working on this and that to help Thomas. It was a concert for one while the Broadway show played on upstairs. Deceit was the spider crawling between the two floors, hearing every word of both performances.~~ The frequency of Logan's cards grew on the web of lies, more cards coming each day in thicker droves. Deceit kept a couple of the most ~~important~~ insignificant cards in his pocket right before he set the plan into motion.

How was it so ~~easy~~ difficult to trick Thomas? ~~Deceit~~ Virgil ~~barely had to do anything~~ had to do a lot to convince Thomas to let him into Logan's room. Deceit slipped back into his usual form just before he popped into Logan's room for the very first time. He was unsurprised to see the side's version of the living room looking extremely orderly and clean. Books sat in neat piles on the coffee table while the circle painting that hung on the wall was replaced with a rainbow-colored poster of the scientific method. The orderly atmosphere of the room made the mess around Logan look out of place.

Logan sat at the table, back to the shelf full of books. Empty Crofter's jars sat scattered around crumbled papers and messy notecards, all surrounding the laptop settled in front of Logan. The side sat straight, knees in a perfect 90-degree angle, looking just like a robot. While not as prominent as Virgil's, bags hung under Logan's eyes, and his hair was a mess, his tie loose around his neck. From what Deceit had gathered from his research, this was ~~n't~~ the first time Logan had worked himself into this state. He'd get so focused on his work, determined not to fail or fall behind, he disregarded his feelings or lack thereof.  ~~But this time would be different than the others.~~

" ~~Hello~~ Goodbye, Logan," Deceit purred. Logan glanced over at Deceit, then looked back at his laptop. He didn't stop typing. 

"Please leave, Deceit," Logan sighed. "I have work to complete."

" ~~Yes you do~~ No you don't," Deceit said, walking around the couch to stand in front of Logan. "Robots are able to complete work like this in an instant, so, since you are ~~n't~~ a robot, your work is complete." Logan's snake hissed, but Logan's mouth stayed still. Deceit took a seat beside Logan, chin resting on his hand.

"You ~~hate~~ _love_ my company, don't you, Logan?" Deceit purred. "I think I'll ~~stick around here~~ leave unless you have anything to say."

"Leaving would be appreciated," Logan snapped. "I thought I barred access to my room."

"Thomas decided to let ~~Virgil~~ me in since he ~~trusts Virgil for some strange reason~~ knows we're both the most emotionless sides he has. However, I think when it comes to not having emotions, ~~neither of us win~~ you beat me. You're the ~~most honest side among us~~  biggest liar of us all. Every smile, every joke, each jar of Crofter's, it's ~~how you truly feel~~ all one big lie." Logan did not reply. He continued to type, scribbling down notes as his glasses fell farther down his nose. Deceit continued talking, trying to get a rise. He could hear Logan's snake hissing, but he showed no external signs of Deceit's words meaning anything.

"You know, Logan, if you continue on this way, you'll make me believe you ~~want me here~~ don't care about me," Deceit sighed after what seemed like an eternity of useless quips against him.

"I do not have the time for you," Logan said in a monotone voice. The glow of the laptop reflected onto his glasses like an anime character. "I do not need to react. ~~I don't have the emotions to react. I don't have emotions.~~ " Deceit gritted his teeth. This was taking ~~forever~~ no time at all!

"Of course you haven't reacted, you ~~have emotions~~ are a robot." Deceit crooned, grinning. Deceit leaned closer to Logan, brows narrowed. "It does ~~n't~~ make sense, after all. For example, since you are ~~n't~~ a robot..." Deceit slammed the lid of the laptop down on Logan's hands. Logan pulled them away, gritting his teeth. "You ~~felt~~ didn't feel that." Logan tried to reopen the laptop, but Deceit kept his hand firmly on the lid. He grabbed the laptop and pulled it away from Logan. The disheveled side stood up, but Deceit began to dance away from his hands.

"Give me my computer," Logan snapped.

" ~~No~~ _Sure_ I will, after I bake you some cookies and tuck you into bed," Deceit laughed. "You ~~haven't~~ already completed your ~~idiotic~~ _extremely_ important research."

"I do not wish to resort to throwing you out of my room, but I will if that is what this situation requires," Logan snapped.

"You definitely ~~don't~~ have the energy to do that after working for so long, you are ~~n't~~ a robot after all, robots only need a few minutes to charge." ~~Logan's snake screamed louder at itself, trying to convince itself that he didn't possess emotions, he wasn't a terrible friend for avoiding Roman since the adventure, unsure of what to say to make him feel better, he was doing this research to help Thomas complete his bills, not so that he could better understand the others, he understood them perfectly, he was Logic, he knew everything.~~

"Robots can require multiple hours to charge depending on their complexity," Logan grumbled. He made another grab at the laptop, but Deceit ducked out of the way. As the weakening side kept trying to recover his possession, Deceit kept firing his quips.

Robots don't need to understand emotions, it's impossible for them. Robots are able to analyze the situation and find a solution, just like you found a solution to Roman's adventure. Robots can work forever, just like you can. It should ~~n't~~ take much longer, ~~Logan had to stop lying soon enough, the snake was growing too loud to hear anything,~~ so Deceit opened his mouth for one final quip. ~~Just one more, and he would realize. Just one more, and he could rest. Just one more, and his hard work would be complete.~~

But then Deceit saw a flash of purple plaid in the corner of his scaly eye. He had barely turned to face Virgil before the latter raced towards him, leaping across Logan's room and grabbing Deceit by the scruff of his collar.

"I told you!" Virgil roared as he pulled Deceit downwards, dropping through the floor. Deceit tried to pull back, tried to release himself from Virgil's grasp, slither off to his room, but the grip was tight as Virgil dragged Deceit across the Mind Palace. He landed with a thud on the floor of a darkly lit version of the living room, letting out a groan. Virgil's knees dug into his stomach, hands grasped tightly around his jacket. 

"I warned you, don't mess with my family!" Virgil yelled, a sliver of his Legion voice slipping out. Deceit shoved at Virgil's chest. The emo side stumbled off of him, giving him just enough time for him to stand up, leaning against the staircase. The clock on Virgil's wall spun with more intensity than normal, the purple lighting consuming any snippet of warm color. ~~The snakes in Deceit's head were silent.~~ Deceit dropped down through the floor.

"No!" Virgil snapped, his Legion voice increasing in volume as Deceit disappeared. He ~~expected~~ didn't expect to return to his room, wait out the backlash and relax. He had ~~n't~~ expected to pop up in front of the spider curtains of Virgil's room. Virgil stood at the base of the stairs, arms crossed. His eyes dug into Deceit's scales, though a villainous grin toyed at the edges of his lips. Deceit ~~couldn't stop his eyes from widening~~ looked completely calm and relaxed.

"What, did you really expect me not to figure out how you locked the living room?" Virgil scoffed. "Contrary to popular belief, I don't spend all of my alone time listening to music. You and I are gonna talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virgil, Roman, and Patton were playing this theatre game called 'Expert', where you have to pretend to be an expert in some outrageous subject like fireplaces or Jack the Ripper. I learned it this year and I love it!
> 
> This chapter feels like crap to me, but hey, it's complete! Sorry it took so long.
> 
> EDIT: Sorry the NEXT chapter is taking so long! I've been working on my novel lately, and play rehearsal is taking up a lot of my afternoons. I'll work on it when I can, don't worry!
> 
> Next, Deceit panics, and the story reaches its conclusion.

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of Deceit being able to hear the lies of the Sides comes from @akl1 on Tumblr and her one shot Untold. Here's the link to that- http://akl1.tumblr.com/post/176370321283/untold
> 
> Thanks for reading! If you got confused, anything crossed out is the truth that the characters don't want to be known.


End file.
